Welcome In!

Arcade Game Flyers

Home | Toys | Video | Comics & Books | Games | Observations | About
Today I bring you a media only now being heard of by the public - arcade flyers. They were usually sent to the arcade owners to advertise a game, and rarely seen by the playing public. However, since the flyers (and sometimes booklets) were in great quantities, many of them are readily available on the internet.
 
Today we will go through the strange, the disturbing and the awesome. Images come from the Arcade Flyer site, and would link to each flyer's page, if not for them being bastards and having everything link to some game called "005".
 
The first one is Lupin III.

This is like sending Mickey Mouse to Korea in the 40's...nobody knows who the characters is, and nobody would care.

This is a European flyer from 1980. If you look at the actual game graphics, there's nothing differentiating Lupin's sprites from a letter 'Y'. But back to the flyer. This was imported in a time to a country that knew nothing about the Lupin franchise, so all they made do with was some traced stock art and referred to Inspector Zenigata as "POLICE INSPECTOR" on the second sheet. Gotta love Lupin's sweet top hat, though. It would kind of give him away easily. Fujiko's left boob is much too pointy, and have just slammed into Zenigata's knees. If you squint, Jigen and Goemon are on the cabinet, as well as a blonde Fujiko.
 
Tower of Power

''Would you like to smash these balls all day long?''

Ah, the old days of subliminal messages. This 1998 "game" is "sure to become the next big money maker", as well as creep out everyone in the arcade because it looks like a six-foot-tall mutant penis. I know what I said. Feel the power, damn you!
 
Wack-A-Doodle-Doo

The Fun Of Beating Animals

There's no date on this, but I think I've seen it at Ruckers before. This was like the alligator bashing game, but you had to hit buttons to stop chickens from coming at you. 'Cause we all know them chickens is gonna hurt y'all. Oh, and this game played really loud music, which would appall me if I were still five. Hey! Sonic's on the side of the cabinet!

Rougien

I bet Rougien went out with the Tower or Power in 1997.

This disturbing Euro-Japan import featured you playing Space Invaders, but with a giant mouth shooting smaller mouths at you. According to the second side of the flyer, there were six different enemies that got you various points, like Crooked Line (100), Penis Candle (100), Devo Hat (100), Tri-Phallus Ship (200), Egg Carton (300) and Big-Ass Mouth (5,000).

Psychic 5

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME ASS WITH YOUR LOLI

This 1987 Japanese game was the first of its kind to allow players to levitate for an amount as time, and was possibly the first to have pantyshots. When you played as Akiko (her butt as pictured) and looked closely when she jumped, you could see two white pixels signifying her panties. According to the manual, she is only 10. Dammit, kid! If you're going to go out flying, at least wear something other than a Uran dress! Anyway, if you look again, you can see clones of Earthbound's Ness and the Mario Bros. Also, a creepy old man. Satan's medallion also appears to have the Kool-Aid Man with an 'S' on him.

Mortal Kombat

LOOK HANZ, I FOUND TWO

Here we go, with a flyer that doesn't know which demographic it's aiming for. Two of the fighters are about to beat the snot out of two boys, one of whom has the same summer shorts I had when I was a kid. Even the cabinet appears to be leering at the kids. Now, while I know nothing about Mortal Kombat and may offend someone, but the man on the left has the same mask as Breetai from Robotech: Macross Saga. There's probably an innuendo in "So Real, It Hurts" involving the kidnapped boys, but I'm sure you know it already.
 
Bucky O'Hare

Let's do the time warp agaiiiiin...

Looks like the Japanese were into the Bucky craze, too! This was the poster for a lovely 1992 game that was released in American and Japan. You gotta love the beaming colours. Here, Bucky shoots at us while 6,000 other characters brawl in the background. There's hiragana in Jenny's eye, though. This is much better than the American poster, which was more depressing than anything else.
 
Touch Me

OOOOOH! TOUCH MEEEE, BABY

This flamboyant 1974 game, reading the second sheet, appears quite monotonous. It was all about pressing buttons in a skill & memory game, so nothing that would entertain your little brother for an hour. Still, upon seeing this picture, "Extreme Ways" by Moby entered my head and stayed there. Do note how Atari calls video games "Innovated Leisure".

Lady Bug

But she's got a body now... *music strike up*

I'll be damned if I can figure out what's going on in the 1981 game. Do I play as a woman in a leotard, or is this another example of sex appeal selling? Alas, yes, we would play as a bug...1981 graphics would only display a woman, let alone Lupin, as a pointy shape. Hooray for the Japanese and their nonsensical yet alluring games! I would have honestly played it if it were about pretty bug women. Yes.

Arcade Water Game

The ecstacy is just *brimming*!

How greatly I remember this 1992 game from the Ruckers Arcades. It was quite simple a game, and playing alone certained you a load of tickets. Above, we see some pretty girl who appears no older than fifteen. She stands next to two flamboyantly-dressed men and an even fruitier Party Gator. What, are they playing in an airport bathroom? Someone's basement? Purgatory? This image is way too depressing for a supposedly "popular" game.

Cliff Hanger

Holy H. Shit On A Wheel. I've just looked up more about this game, and as it turns out, this was some sort of lame action game that was totally ripping off of "Lupin III: Castle of Cagliostro". In fact, clips of the movie would play between levels, supplied by an attached laser disc. From what I've read, everything was edited over so that only Lupin, Clarice, random thugs and Count of Cagliostro were the only characters shown. Oh yes, and Lupin was called "Cliff" and the Count was "Count Dreyco". You non-anime fans don't know how disturbing this truly is.

Robot

This is from 1975, and it is very well the most depressing thing I've seen tonight. The cabinet looks like my friend's old TV. Studying the flyer, I have concluded that is is a cheap rip of Pong. This was, what, three-four years after Pong? There probably wasn't anything other than "sports" games and racing, so there are probably 500 more games like this.

Alley Cats

ಠ_ಠ

 
Chinese Hero

This was probably drawn by the same guy who drew "Psychic 5". So, this image is supposed to entice an arcade into buying this? Whe it looks like it's been drawn by some weirdo who just watched a lot of Project A-Ko and has no drawing skills or accurate knowledge of traditional China? What's up with the little guy in red, standing alone at the right, about to dig that spear into the big guy's crotch? I'd also hate to be the little guy in yellow, who's about to be mashed by either big guy's foot.

French Can-Can
 

I have no idea what in the hell you would do in this game, but apparently it involves French anime girls dancing while you hit them with darts and try to win some dinky gashapon toy. The girl on this poster is saying  "BURABO---♥" which certainly means "bravo". This wouldb-- HOLY HELL, HER THIGHS ARE HUGE! And her body is twisted in two different directions, so I really can't tell if that's a panty or another garter! Bah, maybe it's not even her own lower half.

Mahjong Sailor Wars

Wow, remember this? This Sailor-Moon-Rip-Off-With-Date-Rape mahjong game had its own flyer circulated at one point, and it makes everything look happy-happy-happy. I like how Mars has a face like "You're not really gonna buy this, are you?" And then th-- HOLY, Tuxedo Mask has panties over his face! And in the thumbnail below him, we can see that Chibi-Usa turns out to be in the game. Agh.

 
There were some flyers and ads I couldn't find, but really wanted to include in this article. These were "Sonic CD", two of the 3,942 Neon Genesis Evangelion games, and "Blues Brothers 2000".
 
The last one...I didn't want to find it out of any sort of fond attachment, God forbid, but I remember seeing it in an issue of Nickelodeon magazine when I was five or six. I couldn't find it in the issues I had left, as I gave the others to a neighbor kid, because I was stupid. But I remember the ad for "BB2000" being really scattered and disturbing. If that weren't enough, the movie's prescence screwed me up for a few years, as I didn't know where "that Black guy and the kid" were in the original movie. Agh.
 
What the hell was I trying to say? Oh, right. Anyway, on you own time, go down to the main Arcade Flyers site and look around. You might be susprised, you might be disturbed, or you might get plainly pissed off. See you later.
 
 
 
CLICK ON THIS ODDLY DEMENTED FLYER TO GO BACK TO THE MAIN PAGE

actual game here

Images from ArcadeFlyers.com
All written material here is 2007-2011 Fauna Crawford, along with any images identified as such. All other copyrights belong to their respective owners and creators. Permission is required to use any original material from this site.