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Yet Another Five Bizarre Internet Fetishes

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In the history of Toontown, no other articles have gotten more attention and feedback than the Fetish Series. Aside from getting lots of applause, I've seen comments of people genuinely angry at me for making these articles. This has all resulted in the discovery of one thing...people take this shit very seriously. Here's one of my favourites...
 
you make fun of inflation how dare you??? i bet you have the darkest fetish of all stop picking on us you asshol
 
Oh yes, I have a dark fetish indeed. One that I discovered late last year...I especially love African-American women. Joke involving "dark" aside, shut your bloated, fur-lined mouth, Ms. xXWolfluva333Xx.
 
Now, I think it's time for me to pull out the big guns. There's nothing else I can write about that doesn't involve dwelving into the deeper, darker, sewage-encaked passageways of the internet. There's nothing even to do with cartoons anymore; it's just a matter of something 15% sexual going on and someone getting aroused by it.
 
I warn you that most of these are a combination of utterly disgusting, confusing and inexplicable. By the end of this, you may regret owning genitals and want to avoid having, pursuing, imagining, drawing, talking about, or even thinking of sex. Let's begin!
 
 
 
Belly-Dancing
 
Have you ever watched Sister Princess? These are its characters. Yeah, I know.
 
There's a certain group of people that just love belly-dancing. Not watching real people do it, or even doing it themselves, but watching cartoon characters do it. I remember seeing a lady belly-dance on TV when I was very young and being horrified, and my reaction would translate to, "Holy shit, I wish I could bleach my soul after watching this fatass's lardpacks tell me they hate me in sign language." Sure, belly-dancing is nice when a thin Indian woman does it, but what if the person looks like this?
 
BECAUSE THE HUMAN BODY WORKS LIKE THAT.
 
As shown in both examples, hip collision is like the icing on the cake. Somehow the collision of hipbone and ass is orgasmic to these folks, whom probably get excited about having to walk through a crowded hallway.
 
What The Fetishist Thinks
 
"Oh God...her stomach is moving so fast...mmmh, those fat rolls! I don't care if she's a Powerpuff Girl, I need inside her!"
 
What I Think It Came From
 
Some humans are equipped with a rare gene that finds stimulation at watching somebody move side to side quickly while making their stomach look like an earthquake. The moving stomach sends sensual frequencies directly to the gene carrier's brain.
 
 
Cheerleading
 
Characters by Sonickid300. Drawn by Antiguous. Requested by a crazy chode.
 
I honestly forget the guy's name, but years ago, this dude got famous on Encyclopedia Dramatica for sliming around Sheezyart and asking for users to draw Princess Peach dressed as a cheerleader. You don't need to know the rest of the story except for how Cheerleader Fetishists...much like the Belly Dancerists and Diaperists...hunt down good, unknown artists who take requests and can't say no and beg them to draw pictures of cartoon girls dressed like cheerleaders.
 
It's understandable, this cheerleading fetish...I'm pretty sure one-fifth of the people at your high school's football games were just there to watch the cheerleaders, and a good slice of pornos and fantasies start with a cheerleading outfit. But at what point did it become better when Amy Rose was dressed like one? And I'm not kidding when I mention Amy...the victims are mostly from Sonic or Mario games.
 
Or the insane children of either franchise.
 
What The Fetishist Thinks
 
"Unf...look at that girl hopping up and down in that little skirt...hey Princess Daisy, I've got some pompoms for you to play with!"
 
What I Think It Came From
 
My theory gets Freudian. When a skinny girl holds up two pompoms above her head and stands up straight, she resembles the shape of a penis. What these fetishists want involving dicks may vary person to person.
 
 
Getting Hit With Pies
 
You might notice that faint, excited smile drawn where her face should be.
 
This fetish may be chemically-engineered to ruin your life.
These people are stimulated by images of busty anime women being smeared with pies...special alternate versions include slime, ruining Ghostbusters for you, or any kind of creamy food, ruining that time you spilled oatmeal on yourself. Sometimes the women are hit with pies on their butt, or on other errogenous zones, which more or less kills the original humour found in seeing a person get hit with pies.
 
You may notice in the above picture how I had to invite Gendo Ikari back to cover up some sweet, sweet nippuru. Given how most of the female subjects are either scantily-clad, being hit with pies in private areas, or being hit with a pie by another woman, I can only come to the conclusion that these women are being raped with pie.
 
"I just can't draw Bulma today! Oh well, I'll just buzz a Photoshop brush over her face and pretend it's pie."
 
What The Fetishist Thinks
 
"Are you enjoying that pie, Yolei? ARE YOU ENJOYING THAT PIE, YOLEI?! Ohhh gawwwd, HIT HER WITH ANOTHER ONE!"
 
What I Think It Came From
 
A cream pie in the face could be a Bowdlerized visual for a money shot. Ergo, these fetishists are all space aliens whose sexual fluids are whipped cream. They look upon our Earthly pie-making and pie-throwing rituals as both vulgar and a turn-on.
 

Uh oh! Looks like it's that time of year again!
 
#ALERT - BONER KILLING INTERVAL#
I am obligated to take this moment to terminate any boners that are in operation at this time.
 
 
Thank you for your time. Please keep your mind clean and resume this article.
#ALERT - BONER KILLING INTERVAL - COMPLETE#
 
 
Conjoinment
 
They're not even from the same aniOHHH MY GOD WHY
 
So, what's better than a shapely woman? Apparently, it's two shapely woman attached to each other. Hell, there's even whole guides to where they can be attached! What really grosses me out, unlike all the other fetishes we've seen before, is that some people are sexually attracted to women with a heartbreaking deformity that is usually fatal to one or both of the twins upon separation.
 
This fetish is rather reclusive, seeing as it's rather hard to get somebody into masturbating to a four-legged woman. The art available is usually of a very high caliber, since the only way they could get away with drawing repulsive slime is if their art were at least nice-looking.
 
This is an exception. That poor girl is about to get a faceful of mutant tri-boobs.
 
What The Fetishist Thinks
 
"Oh baby...whatcha gonna do with that second head while you're down there? I...oh, I guess nothing, really...sure, you can have a sandwich. Man, I wish I had two dongs. Um...WOO, FOUR LEGS!"
 
What I Think It Came From
 
These Fetishists are also aliens, and their native race has multiple limbs and faces. It's only natural for them to be attracted to their own kind, you know.
 
 
Damsel In Distress/Mummification/Cocooning/Latex
 
Why the hell is Timmy floating?
 
Regardless of what face I put on it, this fetish is all about a girl being tied up to a certain degree. Damsel In Distress has the girl bound and gagged and in immediate danger. Mummification has the girl completely tied up to her nose with thin bandage, rope or cloth. Cocooning has the same thing with a sticky or crusty substance. Latex has the girl completely unable to move around in a latex suit. Basically, they like their girls scared, confused, stiff and unable to speak. These fetishists could just as easily be serial killers.
 
If this page were still in the same format as my previous fetish articles, I would have attrbuted this to a cartoon very easily. Hell, Penny gets tied up by MAD agents at least once an episode in Inspector Gadget. There is some consensual Tied Up Girl art, which is a lot better than scared Tied Up Girl art, but what's really the best alternative is no Tied Up Girl art.
 
This is an excellent use of deviantART's server space.
 
What The Fetishist Thinks
 
"Mmm girl, I love the way you lie there like a stick and look at me like I'm made of spiders."
 
What I Think Caused It
 
You know how some people recommend wrapping a baby in cloth a certain way so they can't wriggle around, but are still snug and comforted?
 
...Stop doing that. For God's sake, stop doing that.
 
 
So, I normally try to end these things with an inspirational message about how we could always be a little worse in the head, but everybody's got something they secretly love more than anything else. I only got off easy (randy pun not intended) because this is what mine looks like as a picture:
 
 
Hell, someone reading this article could be secretly into pizza delivery men, people wearing sandwich signboards, or something else weird like that. Maybe it's worse than this installment's gross ones, or maybe it's milder than anything. But I only know one thing for sure.
 
There's going to be a fifth part to the Fetish Saga someday. I know that because I wrote this article in one night, and discovered the Conjoinment and Pie fetishes all in that same night. As in, "suddenly learned they exist by total accident". And if that can happen, there's obviously more fetishes somewhere. More and weirder ones, more and grosser ones.
 
 
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