Welcome back, readers! If you've just started reading, it's time to recap:
Stupid, slutty angel Dokuro lives with schoolboy Sakura Kusakabe. She likes to kill him
and immediately bring him back to life with her magical bat. She decided to go to school, but the evil world has
sent out a spy and she must watch over Sakura. He, however, meets another slutty angel at school! O NOES!
That seems adequate. So, we left off with Sakura running into the hall and smashing into another
angel, and we got a free pantyshot. However, the screen flashes, and...
OH SWEET CHRISTY CHRIST.
Oh. Kay. Wasn't she just tapped in the side of the head? Let's hope this ain't another anime
character that graphically dies at a pinprick. Remember kids, that picture was as fun to make as it is to look at
Sakura is just about as freaked out as I am, and he realizes that the pantyshot and everything
was just an illusion. However, Corpsey ain't about to lay low...
Previously, Corpsey asked "Did you see them?" concerning her underpants. This time she repeats
the question, but concerning her...ugh...brains. I'll stand a brain shot in Black Jack, but not here. Never here.
Again, Sakura lends her his hankerchief and this time she wipes off the blood. Again she asks
for his number to return the hankerchief. Corpsey turns out to know Sakura's full name, and the gaping hole in her head is
gone. Then the shat flies...
There seems to be TOO MUCH making-out in school stage rooms in anime.
Sakura pauses, then glances at her (large) chest and says "Now that I think of it, this
girl has a better body than Dokuro-chan!" How. Old. ARE. THESE. KIDS?!
He pauses, worried that Dokuro's going to reveal another secret over the PM system, remember?
He won't go, so Corpsey puts a cattle prod to his neck and demands he goes if he doesn't want to die.
Corpsey reveals she has come from the future, and is an angel named Sabbat. As well, the cattle
prod could apparently fry a blue whale. The gun is also called the "Super Electromatic Stun Gun", Dourindalte. Seconds after, Dokuro yells from off screen and throws Excaliborg at Sakura, thus mowing off the top of his head. Die
& back to life.
Dokuro says Sabbat is trying to kill Sakura, but Sabbat claims Dokuro is a "betrayer of the
angels". Then Dokuro drills the bat into Sakura's chest.
Sabbat admits she knows "Sakura-kun's night life has been shattered and become full of anguish"
because Dokuro's such a "strict guard". Wait, isn't a night life the time of eve where someone goes to bars, gets drunk
and bunks with hookers? HOW OLD ARE - oh, screw that.
Sabbat says "but everyone knows Sabbat is a sweet guard" and removes her jacket and bow, asking
to go "where no one will see us." And a cleavage shot.
Throw in a sex joke, then Sakura walks over to Sabbat with Dokuro sobbing on his foot. All
the while the boy's got this letch face going. So he reaches and takes her hands:
WHAT THE--? Sabbat tells him to take Dokuro's halo, so Dokuro screams as he
yanks away the floating ring. So he yanks it away, only to remember "the edge of Dokuro's angel halo has an edge as sharp
as a razor blade!" and blood shoots from his hand. Without her halo, Dokuro morphs into a skeletal zombie thing and runs down
the hall, clutching her stomach. Sabbat chuckles, so Sakura inquires of what has just happened...
Oh. I though she became an underworld monster. Foolish I.
Sakura thinks the two are going to the storage room, but Sabbat grins, holds him against
a wall and begins to point the cattle prod at Sakura.
However, good ol' Shizuki (remember HER?) shows up just as Sabbat rams the prod through the
wall and into the locker room. This reveals their fat teacher, naked, putting his pants on. I'll spare you a picture.
The kids run through the hall, but Sabbat trips on a bucket of water and we get a pantyshot.
She shrieks about how cold it was and Sakura tries to help her, but she turns on the prod and zaps herself. We get three
pantyshots, each from a different position while she is being zapped. The nearby window explodes and emits smoke.
Sakura looks up as a group of kids gather down the hall, and Sabbat sits there, fried. One
of her ram horns falls off and she moans about failing.
The crowd thinks Sakura hurt Sabbat, so some tanned kid in the front says he must
repay Sabbat with his death. Sakura can't help but ask Sabbat why he must die.
She says, "That's because in the future, Sakura-kun..."
but Dokuro interupts, coming up the hall and looking ever-so-slightly less skeletal. She refuses
to let Sabbat finish, but she does...
Before I go on, let me breifly mention that this scene was actually kinda normal, up until...you'll
see in a minute.
This is the future, 2025, being shown on a filmette in front of the mob. Turns out that future
females all stop growing as children (yet can give birth and menstruate, I assume) and are immortal. This is
because of a machine that was invented by...Sakura.
Dokuro adds that "we angels cannot forgive people who tread too close to God's domain, and
the organization we belong to". "The Tribunal of God's Domain", AKA Rulutia (mentioned in part one).
Dokuro apparently betrayed Rulutia to change the future so that Sakura wouldn't discover the
machine. Sabbat recommends they kill the boy, but Dokuro thought otherwise.
Sakura thinks "It was then that I understood everything." Apparently her habit of interrupting
his homework, constantly wanting to play games, bugging him in his sleep and eating (accompianied by this messed-up image) was so that he wouldn't be able to think of or work into the immortality secret. Killing him from exhaustion. Makes perfect
It gets scarier. Sabbat adds that Sakura made the discovery "when Sakura-kun was doing research
in order to create his pedophile world." Sabbat contines, adding that the research caused all girls' outward appeance to stop
growing at twelve, and everyone affected became immortal.
Well. Aoki-Monkey is still here, too. Sabbat claims the future world cannot be forgiven, then
screams at him. Sakura, believing it's just a lie, tries to get everyone to listen to him, but the crowd goes:
Moriyama: Actually, Sakura might do it.
Oldest Boy: What should I do about my younger sister?
Spectacled Boy: He was a good person, but...
Minami: (Purple-haired girl) He's the worst. He's not a person.
Sabbat goes ahead and chucks Sakura into the wall, then sits on his back and points the cattle
prod at his neck. Zombie Dokuro stops Sabbatt, and the two begin fighting while Sabbat tries stabbing at Sakura. Finally he
reaches over and pulls off Sabbat's halo (hand bleeds...). I missed getting a picture of zombie Dokuro, so...
Taco Bell will do that to ya. (I have been waiting this whole article to say that.)
Sakura throws the halo out the window and Sabbat rushes to said window (pantyshot!) and swears
she won't forget this. She then runs down the hall clutching her rear, screaming "It's coming out!" Don't worry,
they don't show anything.
The crowd and Shizuki leave, so Sakura gets Dokuro's halo (no blood!) and apologizes
to Dokuro for stealing her halo. She tells him to "hurry up and give it back", so Sakura inquires if she's mad. Dokuro
says she's not. Before Sakura does give it back, he tells her that he's "misunderstood you all along. Everything you've
done was to protect me" and is sharply interupted when the girl snatched the halo, rolls down the hall and puts the halo in
its normal place. She walks over to him, grinning...
I think this image is self-explanitory.
And, that's how it ends. Seems reasonable...wait, what? There are TEN MORE EPISODES OF
THIS?! Isn't THAT beating the dead horse! WHAT DERANGED DEMOGRAPHIC in Japan finds this perverted swill ENTERTAINING?
At least it's done and we'll never have to look back until some moron willingly watches it.
I have a headache.
CLICK ON SABBAT LIVING IN SOME KIND OF SHACK MADE OF POSTCARDS TO GO BACK TO THE