Anime. To any internet frequenter, the very word conjures up images of wide-eyed schoolgirls (possibly in
the company of tentacles), boys with asymetrical hair and giant robots pounding the snot out of other giant robots. Every
so often, an English company sees a good animated property and dubs it, usually bringing in a market of kid viewers and creepy
nerds who complain about the...dub changes. Possibly every anime ever has something disturbing or obscure that will
have to be removed from the American version. Because, you know, Japan is a wacky place. Even the wacky series Dr. Slump
would be clean, if not for a character called "Mr. Poop" (Unchi-Kun) and references to boobs and other erogenous zones. Japan's
children seem to get a lot more in their cartoons, such as...
5. Throwing Babies in Macross
The awesomest damn thing in the 80's.
Also known as the first third of Robotech, Macross was an extremely popular 80's series that brought
in a new wave of anime fans. Since there were only 36 episodes, Macross was mixed in with two other robot animes, the two
of which became sucky because they were edited down to fit with Macross's storyline. Anyhow, Max Sterling and Miriya were
an odd couple of "pretty Robotech pilot" and "extremely hot Meltandi Amazoness" that married on the show, despite Miriya repeatedly
trying to kill Max and successfully killing his friend. After this, they had a baby named Dana (orig. Komilla), and took her
along when the Macross crew boarded Breetai's ship. Then, when the group is lounging and talking about blowing things up,
Lisa and Claudia ask Miriya to pass them the baby (whom looks like she's floating)...
For some reason, Max is okay with the whole thing, claiming that Dana has "a strong skeleton". Lisa tries
to tell them off, despite Miriya not understanding anything. To the Sterling family...you might wanna leave the baby duties
to Max, and the space battling to Miriya. I am also aware how bizarre that sentence sounded.
4. Palco Folgore Sings About Boobies
ANGRY CHILDREN SRSLY no.
Zatch Bell is well known for being one of the most bizarre animes of all time. Despite all North American
promotional art having pictures of the characters shitting themselved in pure raging fury, the show was light-heartedly hilarious
and sometimes disturbing. Add in two characters, a master and Mamodo child...an Italian pop star with an ass chin, and a small
boy with a duck beak and sleeper pajamas. And that was normal. Anyhow, Folgore's most popular song featured the same
three lines in a loop, set to a rubbery-limbed dance. This is what you would have seen on Cartoon Network:
But, this is what you would have seen in Japan:
This certainly darkens the meaning of "Boing-Boing!". Zatch Bell's original version featured a
few more things that were pretty unnecessary and borderline unsettling. Next time you watch it, wait for a scene when Zatch's
dress-thing is flipped up. Look at his underwear...does it look unshaded and sometimes digitally-jittery? His shorts
were added in digitally for the English version, since in the Japanese version, Zatch's groin and rear end were clearly
visible. Dragonball-Young-Goku's-penis style.
Okay, I'm sorry. This one counted for two disturbing hidden things. Let's move on to something
not about breasts...
3. James Crossdressing in Pokemon
With Mommy and Daddy's money, you can collect another 150!
Everybody loved Pokemon back in 1998, right? A pubscent boy and his friends collect bizarre creatures in
order to fuel a merchandising giant. Of course, it got old somewhere after the second movie, but nothing beats nostalgia.
Of course...when...Team Rocket enrolls themselves in a beauty pageant to win a special Pokemon. And then the whole episode
was pulled from the American dubbing line-up.
Yes, Misty. Yes.
My details are unclear as to what the Pokemon was, or what James did, but it sure involved
wearing a bikini and having large breasts. The below clip seems jittery, but is composed of the in-between scenes. It
was also found by Tylee, whom is not female, but is helpful:
During my searches, a few people on a forum wondered why the entire episode was removed, saying there "wasn't
anything really wrong with it." Oh, maybe it was the fact that James was frequently fondling his enormous manboobs?
I'm just guessing...
2. Shin-Chan References in Sailor Moon
And you could see plenty.
For those of you who don't know, Shin-Chan is what Bart Simpson would be like if he were Japanese and enjoyed
dancing with no pants.
In one of the later episodes, Chibi-Usa is looking for "valuable encounters" when she comes across a good-looking
boy her age (I'm using her view; I'm not a pedophile). Before she can talk to him, he starts spouting off incredibly inappropriate
lines from Crayon Shin-Chan, before showing her his "little elephant" and pulling down his pants.
The sad thing is that at the time, some boys actually did crap like this, like how kids used to say "don't
have a cow, man". The actual Japanese voice actors for Shin-Chan and his mother play the boy and his mom. However, if you
watch the same scene in English, the boy has a soft voice, tries to get Chibi-Usa to "dance" and shows her his "Sailor Moon
underpants". He's then dragged off by his mom to buy normal underwear. I like the dub version for once.
1. Numerous Sexual Couplings in Cardcaptors
Now that I think about it, how did I not see this coming?
A little girl opens a magic book and accidentally releases dozens of magic cards into the atmosphere, and
has to get them back by dressing in flamboyant costumes, designed by her overly-friendly best friend who videotapes her in
those costumes. You see where this is going?
Well, let's break it down into bite-size chunks...Cardcaptor Sakura's best friend Tomoyo (Madison) is in
love with her. There have been numerous scenes where Tomoyo gushes about how pretty Sakura will look, or feels up Sakura while
measuring her for a new costume. And these girls are...10 years old, you know.
Adding another level of creepy, Sakura is in love with a (much older) guy named Yukito (Julian) whose age
bounces from 14 to 17, depending on which version you watch. And in the manga, Sakura's brother is hinted to dating Yukito.
And there's another 10 year old boy who is in love with Yukito, Li Shaoron, who exists only as shounen pedomeat. (Despite
sounding like Shinji Ikari in both versions, Yukito is a pimp.) And one of Sakura's friends, Rika, is in mutual love
with their 20-something teacher Mr. Terada, whom gets visibly flustered when Rika looks at him. Basically, the cute little
anime that some of you girls watched was originally just a giant fanservice sandwich brought to you by CLAMP (a manga company
composed entirely of women).
Kinda craps on your chidhood, doesn't it? Unless, someone already told you knew this and/or
you are getting off to it.
I was 10 once. I don't remember any lesbians in my class that made me costumes and ran their fingers through
my hair. Then again, I was one of the girls who didn't really like Cardcaptors when it came out (hur-hur, a pun),
so that may be where I missed out.
Well, what have we learned? If anything, when you're watching an anime on a kid's channel and you see a
jumpy scene cut or a piece of clothing that looks like it's moving seperately from the character's body, you know what's going
on down at the editing studio. Although, it's better that little kids didn't see most of the crap on this list...and sometimes,
depending on the show, it's better that nobody saw whatever was cut. Because Japan can be a creepy place.