Sleepless in St. Canard

Character Bios
Fan Works

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Like I've said before, most of you new fangirls of Megavolt and Quackerjack (seperately, of course) will probably be disgusted with this, and I invite you to turn back now if you don't like male-male pairings, innuendos and mild language. I'm pretty damn sure these two were my first ever favorite slash couple, all because of the influence of the 1990's sites I learned from during my fandom swing in 2005.




The finishing touch in waking Megavolt was a sharp jab at his upper arm. The rat hissed in pain, turning slowly to see his antagonist. Quackerjack was kneeling by his bed, squatting down, trying to hide. The attempt failed, as his outlandish jester hat stuck up and gave him away immediately.

"Quackerjack," Megavolt lifted his arm, reaching for the clock. "What do you want..."

The duck gleefully held up a game box, something called Happy Happy Horses, or the like; Megavolt couldn't see it well in the dark. He did get a hold of the clock, the red LED numbers burning his vision. 11:57. Damn.

Quackerjack, still grinning hopefully, shook the box a little. Megavolt shot him a glare and rolled over, while Quackerjack threw the box down and was probably pouting in disgust.

"Oh, c'mon Megsy! I let you sleep for a good hour or so."

"Hour? This could be the last night that I get a decent recharge in..." Megavolt's stomach churned, remembering Negaduck's promise to "find them soon", whenever he got out of the Negaverse. For now, the Fearsome Four had delegated themselves to one apartment, conditions changing every other day. Living with Quackerjack was like juggling nitroglycerin.

"Well, this could be the only game night I have this week!" Quackerjack sat on the bed, looking down at his twiggy companion. Megavolt kicked a little, disgustedly trying to get him to move.

"Go to your own room."

"But it's the living room!"

"So go to it!" That was how it was now; Megavolt took the bedroom along with his electrical equipment and the group's weapons, Bushroot was stood-up in the closet - which Megavolt considered bigger than his own room - and Liquidator had taken over a bucket. He claimed it was rather comfy, not that the others could agree with him. Megavolt was just disgusted that he could only bring half his lightbulbs, and let alone store the poor things in another closet. He tried to tell everyone that they were cramped in there, but to no avail.

"But your room is cozier," Quackerjack purred.

"Yeah, cozy, I've got one foot of free space between all our junk."

"Our junk...?"

"I mean the guns and generators, you dolt!" Megavolt pulled his pillow out from under his head and shoved it over his face. "You're such a perv..."


"Gghd nhhgt, Qhghkhrghk..." He mouthed through his pillow.

"Sparky, c'mon. Just one round. You can be the blue horse if you want." He kneeled over Megavolt. At no reaction, he poked him slowly and sharply in the chest.

Either one was still.

"Oh, phoo..." Quackerjack looked over his shoulder, wondering if it would be best to leave, but he froze. His trademark psychotic grin spread across his face, and he turned back to Megavolt. Oh, he knew how to "energize" him.

He relaxed his knees, now sitting on his companion's thighs. Megavolt didn't shout in protest, but simply moved the pillow up to reveal his frown. "You stop bugging me and get out."

"We don't have to play a board game, Sparky!" Quackerjack squealed, beginning to bounce in place. "There's pictionary, marbles, or...heh...another game...?"

"What other ga- OHH!" Megavolt was cut off when the jester's dainty hands took grip of his shoulders, shoving him further into the mattress. Something begun, thrusting into his pelvis. Megavolt started writhing, trying to shake Quackerjack off. There wasn't much of a danger of Quackerjack seriously injuring him, just a risk of feeling very, very violated.

"You JERK! It's too late at night to pull stuff like this!" Megavolt personally considered it too late any time to do this. Making things worse, Quackerjack giggled hysterically and pulled down the bed spread, snaking his hand towards Megavolt's waistband. What Megavolt always hated was the fact that he was so scrawny; probably anyone could shove someone off themselves if they didn't have such stick-arms like his own, he figured. Neither one noticed the crystaline puddle bubbling in through the bottom of the door.

It was the Liquidator.

The canine formed himself up into his usual figure, the compromising two oblivious to him, and boomed in his deep voice, "The Surgeon General recommends you two shut up before someone calls the..."

All three became aware of the situation, and Liquidator's jaw dropped slowly. He melted back into a puddle, preparing to leave. "Our people...will call back later!"

Soon, he was gone. Megavolt turned back to Quackerjack and shot him a glare. "Oh, great! Now we've got the Liquidator thinking the wrong thing!"

"Aw, he's not gonna spread it around! know...absorbs things?" Quackerjack ended this with a coy spin of his wrist.


"Hsssh! Ssh! Inside voice!"

Megavolt freed an arm, reached up and grabbed Quackerjack's beak. The duck squeaked in annoyance, but soon became victim to a thick wave of electricity. Megavolt dropped his arm, ending it abruptly. Quackerjack wheezed, then moved away from Megavolt's legs as a precaution.

"Great, now I'm completely out of power..." The rat rolled onto his side, letting his vision drop on some toolbox. Behind him, Quackerjack lay down at his side. Boredly, he spun his finger in the air.

"Maybe I should a' started off slowly, huh Sparky?" He whispered. He was greeted with a deafening silence, then a faint sigh from Megavolt. "Should I leave...?"

"No, you're fine. Just..." Megavolt looked over his shoulder quickly, but turned away. "You really freaked me out."

Quackerjack smirked, moving closer to his companion. He slinked his fingers onto Megavolt's upper arm, tugging at his sleeve. "So...I see you stole your pajamas from the hospital...?"

"Actually, yes."

Megavolt felt Quackerjack lift the droop of his sleeve, and drop it. Repeat. "You're too small for it, Sparky."

"Ohh...don't remind me."

"And it smells like that gross pink hospital soap!"

"It's actually kind of soothing to me," Megavolt said, getting sleepier by the second. Quackerjack observed this, and set his hand by Megavolt's chest, locking him in an embrace, whether he liked it or not. The rat wasn't sure himself.

"You're weird," Quackerjack whispered. "Of course, that's what I like about you, you know."

"Sure," The rat replied with a flustered laugh. "'re not gonna do anything to me while I sleep, are you?"

"Mmm, I'll try."

"No, I mean it."

"Oh, fine." Quackerjack went still, rimming through his thoughts. After a long while, he mumbled, "G'night, Sparky."

"You too, Quacky..."



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