I Fell Down The Stairs

Character Bios
Fan Works

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There were only a few things in the world that Megavolt never liked to talk about...his childhood, anything with Negaduck, sex, and his birthday.

It wasn't that he had horrible, repressed trauma from his childhood or the like...he just couldn't remember the damned date. A few years of living through raw electricity could do that to a brain, he knew. Megavolt had even forgotten the month a few times, and once Quackerjack had way too much fun when Megavolt had thought his birthday occured on a Saturday...one week after the other. Negaduck put a cap on the fourth week with nothing less than a shotgun supposedly loaded with peroxymonosulfuric acid. The two decided not to take that chance, and cancelled things.

It had been a year-and-a-half since then, and Megavolt was getting a faint, sticky reminder that it was the anniversary of something. He was in his lighthouse, sitting on the floor with an old box of lightbulbs, trying to work it out with them.

"I don't know, Lola..." He said to one. "It couldn't be that. That was right before prom, and that's in June...I think?"

Silence. Megavolt suddenly pulled two bulbs out of the box and held them to his face, frowning. "You two stop fighting! This isn't a life-or-death matter!"

Behind him came the jingle of bells, and two dainty hands clamped down on his shoulders. "Hiya, Megsy!"

Megavolt shrieked and whirled around, instantly calming upon seeing Quackerjack. Then the rat's face turned to anger.

"Don't do that to me! I'm on the verge of remembering something." He looked down at a lightbulb he had dropped and sifted through the gass, mourningly.

Quackerjack kneeled next to him, grinning excitedly. "Ooh, what is it this time?"

"Y'know, I think it's...my birthday again." Megavolt looked over at his companion. "I don't remember how old I am, though-"

"Your BIRTHDAY!" Quackerjack squealed. He jumped up and ran from the room. "Hold on, I've got something!"

Megavolt watched him leave, wondering what kind of 'present' the duck intended. As long as it didn't explode or randomly jut spikes, he would accept it. He turned back to the bulbs and tried to calm them down about Joey's "death". Five minutes into the sermon, Megavolt begun to realize how quiet the rest of the lighthouse was. He put away the bulbs and stood up.

"Hey, uh, Quacky?" He headed to the hall, nearing the stairs. "Is something wrong?"

Nothing. He started to worry Quackerjack was clinging to the ceiling, or building something dangerous. He searched the ceiling for a while, then looked down. Lo and behold, there was a large wrapped box sitting by the stairs.

"Quacky, was this yours?" Megavolt called out. From somewhere came muffled giggling. Egged on, he went to the box and opened it slowly, hoping that a stream of flames wouldn't greet him.

He held the box top protectively in front of himself, waiting. Assured, Megavolt dropped the top beside him and looked down. The box was empty, save for a tiny piece of paper. He reached in and brought it into the light, then flipped it over.

Messily scrawled, it read "boo".

Megavolt gawked at it. "What is this, some kinda-"

"HAPPY BIIIIRTHDAY!" A shrill voice sung behind him. Megavolt swung around to see Quackerjack waving a- damn, were those ribbons, or-

He tried to take a step back, intending to swat at Quackerjack, but the ground disappeared behind him. Before Megavolt knew it, he was tilted 130, his destination the bottom of the stairs.


"Oh, Sparky, I ... uld have left it by th ... dn't know you wer ... l right? I ..."

Megavolt was lying on the ground, presumable Quackerjack patting gingerly at his cheek. He was lying there like a dead beetle; perfectly on his back with his limbs curled left and right. He'd wanted to throttle Quackerjack for scaring him, but all Megavolt wanted now was some coffee. Or a pillow. Or chocolate. His mind was a stream of consciousness.

"Darnit Megsy, say something!" Quackerjack wailed, either frustrated or terrified, most likely a combination of the two.

"Mmph..." Megavolt grunted, trying to get up. He could feel his body, nothing broken too, but hardly felt like sitting up. "I'm okay..."

"Oh great!" Quackerjack pulled the rat into a hug, and Megavolt hissed at the pressure on his shoulder. Quackerjack turned to a toy soldier behind himself and told it, "Go get the man some water."

Megavolt watched the toy leave, then shut his eyes. His only worry was that Quackerjack had done something shady to him while he was unconscious. "You didn't...do anything, did you?" He slurred.

"I scared you and you fell down the stairs. That's all, Megsy..." Quackerjack's tone was wavery; serious, almost. He stood up, trying to bring Megavolt to his feet as well. It was like driving a car with a missing tire; slow and painful.

"How are you now?"

"I think I..." Megavolt rubbed the back of his neck. "...I feel like slugging you in the gut."

"Thataboy!" Quackerjack's attention went to the toy soldier, whose arms were held out and balancing a small glass. Quackerjack took the glass and the soldier walked away, getting as far as the hall before exploding.

Megavolt put the glass to his mouth slowly, taking precaution as to not spill any and cause himself a short-out. Quackerjack stood nearby, grinning with anticipation and relief.

"Darnit, Sparky! Why do you have to scare me like that?"

Megavolt winced from the nickname. "Well, why did you have to set the present up like that?"

"Touche." Quackerjack said embarrassedly, tilting his head down. "I was only trying to liven up your birthday."

"My birthday?" Megavolt took the glass from his mouth, gingerly wiping his lips off on the back of his glove. "What are you talking about? It's not my birthday today. My birthday's in August."

Quackerjack looked at him in annoyance, but suddenly his face went blank. As Megavolt watched him, Quackerjack's beak slowly spread into an amused smile. He broke out giggling, and slapped Megavolt on the back. Megavolt tried not to hiss in pain.

"Oh! I forgot...I guess it is August." Quackerjack stepped back. "Now...what should we do with the rest of the night?"

"I dunno..." Megavolt shrugged. "You wanna rob some place?"

"OOH! Can I pick?" Quackerjack started to hop up and down in place, the bells of his hat jingling erractically. "How about a department store? Something for both of us!"

"Sure!" Megavolt rubbed at his sore shoulder. "Nothing wild, please. I'm still in pain."

Quackerjack grabbed Megavolt's better hand and yanked him towards the garage door. "C'mon! To the car, Megsy!"



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