Recently, I was clearing out my bookshelves in order to fit all my Tezuka books in. I was pulling out everything non-manga
when I came across my old Darkwing Duck picture books! I'd gotten one in late 2005, and this one in the spring of 2006. The
two had been sitting around, my intention to review them for your interested eyes. I'm a year late, so here's a review of
the more logical or the two...The Darkest Night.
We open with Darkwing walking into a diner, his cape over his face. The place is run by a guy named Max who basically
looks like paunchy, cream-coloured Bushroot. He stops sweeping the diner floors and gets all excited, saying "You're my idol!"
He offers to make Darking some food, but Darkwing - who's certainly not really DW now - points an actual freakin' gun at Max
and says "Your money...or your life." Ah, don't ya miss the 90's? You could show a cartoon bird threatening to kill another
bird back then. Around the same time, another Darkwing smashes up a hot dog stand and steals twenty-one hot dogs & buns
(I really counted). I'd honestly say trying to kill someone is a greater crime than stealing processed meat doings, but hey.
We cut to the next morning, where Drake is reading the paper...
...As we can see, Drake has received a letter from SHUSH, summoning him to another assignment. In response, he knocks
over all his "Quizby Quackies" and Launchpad starts to do the mambo. Drake kicks Launchpad's wacky dancing ass, telling him
that he's just the "lowly sidekick", then orders him to start the Thunderquack. When they get there, Bowa...Growlal...dammit,
I forget his name...grabs Darkwing's arms and
rapes him takes him straight to J. Hooter's office. Hooter pulls out
a newspaper and chews him out for committing exactly twelve crimes overnight. Darkwing freaks out and runs out of the
building, claiming that he'll prove himself innocent.