MiST: "Sonic the Hedgehog - Blood and Metal"

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Skipper HansenRobby PhillipsOptima-10

Disclaimer: I am not attempting to make a personal stab at David Gonterman. I am merely running through the "classics" for my bi-annual MiSTing. David, if you ARE reading this, sorry. But you did implant yourself in the story. If you still feel strongly against this, please send me a copy of the comic you kill off Skipper, Optima and Robby in.
P.S.: Please don't draw ALL your women with grapefruit-sized boobs. I've read Scarlet PI.

MiSTED BY "FAUNA" C., FEATURING SKIPPER, ROBBY & OPTIMA-10 OF MY CREATION "SKIPPER THE ROBOT KID"
  DO NOT DISTRIBUTE OR SEND TO GONTERMAN WITHOUT MY PERMISSION
 
Sonic the Hedgehog--Blood and Metal Alpha
Chapter I; Revision Three
by FoxFire Studios
SKIP: The words that strike fear into the hearts of all writers.
Sonic the Hedgehog and all related characters are (c) Sega of America.  Davey Crockett character and Blood and Metal story line is (c) 1995 David Gonterman.
OPT: And may they stay ONLY with him.
Background Notes:
This story occurs after the second season of the STH Saturday morning series, with some extra stuff from the comic books thrown in:
OPT: That should turn out well.
The year is 3237 on Mobius, for all you AOL users keeping track.
ROB: NERDS!
Robotnik's off the planet [Mobius] for the moment, leaving Snively in charge with Mecha-Sonic. Princess Sally has acquired Sonic's speed from the Doomsday Stones.
ROB: David means to tell us Sally stole Sonic's amphetamines?
OPT: Enough!

Amy Rose (from Sonic CD) has moved to Knothole to be with her hero, Sonic, but is fostering a friendship with Tails!  Knuckles is still Knuckles.
SKIP: And pretty much the only person still the same.
     Meanwhile, King Acorn is still exiled on the other side of the void--on planet Earth!  He has heard of the unrequited heroism of Davey Crockett
ROB: Oh yes. His god-like powers of killing homosexuals and macking with Sailor Moon.
(Read the Piasa Story included) and got an idea: He'll replace Davey's lost arm with a robot one and send him to Mobius to deliver a message to Princess Sally.
ROB: Dear Sally...
ALL: RUN!!

We join the story at this scene.
Zone One--Act One:
The glass tube slides down around the Roboticizer, with a young human without a left arm seated inside.
~Everybody begins humming "Murder"~
A gas mask giving nitrous oxide is strapped over his face.  When the tube snaps into place, a heads-up display gives a readout over the glass:
Subject:            Davey Crockett
Operation:          Replace Left Arm
SKIP: I.Q.: 06
Est. Robotization:  12%
Ready to Proceed--Press Any Key.
ROB: No! Hit the DELETE!
 
A fox dressed in a military dress and wearing a crown stands before Davey, carrying a hand-held touch screen. "It appears that you haven't woke up from your...accident, in over a month, Dave,"
SKIP: What accident?
OPT: He was licking the inside of a waffle iron.
 the squirrel says.
ROB: Whoa! A sentence ago, he said it was a squirrel!!
SKIP: Welcome to the horrible world of Gonterman.

"It appears that you don't want to wake up, do you? Can't say that I blame you, after what happened with that Piasa Bird.
ROB: What now?
SKIP: They say Ms. Piasa was a teacher who disagreed with David's view of other races.

OPT: Insertions for revenge...it's just a normal day in Gonterland.
You saved your city, only to be shot at for thanks!
OPT: You're welcome, but we only did what's natural.
And over something your ancestors did to boot!  I can see why you don't want to return to your world, my friend, but maybe I can entice you with something more."
SKIP: EEEW!
OPT: David likes furry yaoi?
ROBBY: I think I just output a little in my mouth.

He gave the Roboticizer the go-ahead.
OPT: Shield your eyes, Skip!
Two robot claws sprouted out from above, one was carrying a robotic left arm, the other clamped down on what's left of the left shoulder. Blue lightning courses through Davey's body, causing his eyes and head to twitch.
OPT: More than they usually do.
SKIP: Hey, wait! That's not how they do a robotic transfer! I mean, look at ME! You can't just snap a part on and zap the patient!
ROB: Skipper. It's Gonterman.
It was as is he was having a nightmare. When the claws snapped the robot arm into place, Davey's eyes snapped open.
ROB: CRRRACK!
OPT: Must have had cheap eyelids installed.
He found himself seated inside a tube that was now rising into the ceiling.
SKIP: He had woken up in the carnival.
On the outside stood a regally dressed fox.
ROB: Well, at least it's wearing pants.
"Welcome back to the land of the living, Mr. Crockett. Don't be alarmed.
OPT: You are merely under the control of MOTHER.
You just got your arm back, although it's a robotic one.  No hard feelings?"
ROB: PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!
SKIP: So now it's a fox, huh?
Davey looks to his left.  Where a bleeding stump over a grossly removed left arm
OPT: See what happens when you don't pay your med bills?
was is now a gleaming metal tube, hinged at the middle.  At the shoulder, a grooved ball
ROB: GROOVY!
connects the arm to the shoulder, which has a grafting of flesh and metal.  At the far end was a fully articulate hand.  Davey spent some time trying it out before he gave his verdict: "Groovy!"
ROB: I just said that!
OPT: This is circa 1995, right?
SKIP: Yes.
OPT: And a twenty-five year old man just said "groovy".
SKIP: Yes.
OPT: What a sick world this is
.
Zone 1--Act Two:
The fox introduces himself as King Acorn, monarch of a planet known as Mobius.  "You've probably heard of a game called 'Sonic the Hedgehog,' haven't you, Davey?"
SKIP: FOURTH WALL! IS! BREAAAKING!
"I've played and beaten all the games, sir. I've even seen the comic book and both cartoon shows."
OPT: [David] I have no life, sir.
"Good, then all this will be review for you.  Allow me to use your arm for a moment, please."
ROB: EEW!

King Acorn pushed a few buttons on Davey's robotic forearm and a holographic projector popped up.
SKIP: BOING!
ROB: [David] Push your own damn buttons!
"What you were in when you came to was the original design of the infamous Roboticizer. It was built by one of our inventors named Charles Hedgehog for needs like your own: Limb replacements, birth defect removals, medical repairs, and so on.
ROB: It's friggin' magic!
OPT: No, it's plot convenience.

The Roboticizer was celebrated as our greatest advancement in Mobian science, and it earned Charles his knighthood. But that was before..."
OPT: [King] ...before we met YOU.
"That was before Doctor Ivo Robotnik."
"You're a quick study, young man.  I knew Doctor Robotnik before as Julian, the captain of our robotic guard, or Swatbots as we call them, until he staged a military coup over me.
OPT: All the commas raged out of control.
He threw me into a dimensional portal to God knows where--I eventually ended up in your world--started to turn Mobius' citizens into robotic slaves with the Roboticizer, make more pollution in his time as dictator than your entire history put together...well, you know the rest."
SKIP: And that is how we got Pittsburgh.
OPT: Are you sure it's not Manilla?
"Including the fact that there is an underground freedom force on your planet led by your daughter, Princess Sally.  That team includes Sonic the Hedgehog..."
ROB: [Remembering his nickname] I just died inside.
[MiST Note: In STRK, Robby is compared to Sonic multiple times due to Robby's own speed.]
"The fastest mammal on two legs and Sega's multimedia starlet. I know. Now you know how I got into your world in general and your life in particular. Now I'm going to tell you why?"
"I was hoping you would. It's not every day someone gets tapped on the shoulder by a talking fox."
SKIP: It BETTER not be everyday.
OPT: Would he rather be kicked in the shin by a robotic child?
"Humph. I have compiled a package in computer data to my daughter in Knothole. It contains information vital in her mission to overthrow Robotnik and restore freedom to my home.
ROB: It also has some digital photos with it.
All I need is a messenger to take it to her. I cannot do this myself, because of the
OPT: Slow email connection.
nature of the portal I came through causes my body to crystallize when I return.
SKIP: Whee! King's worth 25 grand!
I need someone who is not affected by what I call 'the void' to go there for me."
"And what you found was me. Well, it's not that I've got any plans for the rest of my life, up to the point that I got my left arm back. I'll do it."
ROB: [David] I'll kill you. I'M CRAZY!
     "Good.  I was hoping you would."
Zone One--Act Three:
"I have uploaded my letter into a computer terminal encased in your robotic forearm,"
OPT: How conveeeenient.
King Acorn told Davey, as they stood before a wireframe pyramid. "It also includes a secret map that will lead you to Knothole, the village where Princess Sally's freedom fighters reside in.  Here, take my ring.
ROB: Now he's marrying the damn thing?
It will let Sally know that it was I who sent you."
"Yes, Sir," Davey said as he slipped the ring into his human hand.
ROB: Crap! It's official!
"However, I must warn you that the void may affect you in the same manner that affects me; I can take you there, but I cannot guarantee that you could return to your own."
SKIP: Own what?
OPT: His normal state. Which wasn't normal to begin with.
"That's okay, Sir. You can probably guess that I'm not too fond of this planet. It has advanced technology and some of the people are somewhat enlightened, and you might consider yourself honored to be able to get over here.
ROB: [Snorts]
But I ran smack dab into the darker side
ALL: Smack daaaab in the middlllle!
[MiST Note: The above was from a 2002 cookie commercial.]
of humanity and paid for it out of my own hide."
ROB: How much demand is there for a Gonterman fur coat?
OPT: Maybe you can make something from his mullet.
"I'll let you know that I would not allow what happened to you in my home planet. No matter what your ancestors did long ago, it should not be that you have to pay for their crimes."
ROB: What the heck happened?
OPT: According to the notes, Gonterman's arm was shot off by an African-American man who apparently was mad that Gonterman's ancestors enslaved the shooter's.
SKIP: Well! That gives him every right, now doesn't it?
"True. However, there are some cultures on this planet that are so caught up in their bitter past that their own rage has blinded them to the innocence of the children of their ancient tormentors today. For them, am I the face of the world in which they want to live in? A world where every atrocity is met by another? Where justice and equality is decided by who is more hate-filled-- who is more morally bankrupt--than the other? Your Majesty, I do not want to be the face of their future."
ALL: ENOUGH PREACHING!
"I understand, son. Allow me to show you a brighter path than the one you see before you.
ROB: Wow. The king just hands these duties to any nerd he meets, huh?
Maybe it will be a healing experience to you as well." King Acorn flipped a switch on the pyramid.
OPT: Don't do it, man! It's a Natural Living trap!
The pyramid sprang to life with a deafening hum. A black and white swirl formed in the middle. "Behold, Davey Crockett, The Void. The gateway to the planet Mobius. I have programmed this portal to exit as close to Knothole as possible, but I am not sure about exactly where you'll end up."
ROB: I'VE got a place in mind...
"I understand, King Acorn. I'm ready." Davey shook King Acorn's hand for one final time. "Good luck, my son, and God speed."
ROB: [Singing] God ain't anywhere I've been, I tell you, I think we're through...
     With that Davey turned toward the hypnotic swirl and leapt into it.
OPT: He'd probably have more fun staring at it.
Zone Two--Act One:
The next thing Davey Crockett knew, he was slammed against a metal wall, knocking his wind out for a moment.
SKIP: EEW!
OPT: [Makes 'rasberry' noise with mouth]

Next he heard the  thump-thump-thump of a toe tapping. He looked up to find a blue hedgehog above him. "Well?"
ROB: [Stares]
     Davey recognized him immediately.  "You must be Sonic."
ROB: THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS!
     "That's who I am, but who on Mobius are you?"

     Just then a girl squirrel sped around a corner and into the scene. "Sonic, who's this guy."
OPT: [Sally] Who is he. My heart is racing. I've never been this energetic. Yay.
"That's what I wanna know, Sal. The void just appeared outta nowhere and spewed him out. It's gone now, by the way."
OPT: The use of past tense descriptors is directly proportional to how boring the story is.
     "Sal?" Davey asked, "as in Princess Sally Acorn?"
SKIP: Or in "salamander"?
     "Yes, I am," the squirrel said.
     "Great. That makes my job that much easier." Davey got up.
SKIP: Plot convenience!
"My name's Davey Crockett. I bring a message from your father, King Acorn." He holds up his right hand. Sally's face lights up when she sees her father's ring.
OPT: Those toys can do that with magnets.
After a moment, she looked at Davey. "You're coming with us."
SKIP: And again!
     "Hey, waitaminute Sally! Look at his left arm--It's roboticized!! For all we know,
Ro-butt-nik's found the fountain of youth--"
SKIP: I don't get it.
     "HEDGEHOG AND SQUIRREL--PRIORITY ONE"
     Several Swat-Bots entered the scene.
ROB: [With accent] Get him, boys!
"Wanna bet?" Davey said as he grabbed Sally and booked out of the corridor while Sonic dived into the Swats.
OPT: Mosh party!
SKIP: Rock on, pointy dude!
     "Quick, Davey, in here," Sally said, pointing to a storage room. Davey went in and locked the door behind him.
ROB: WOOOO!
SKIP: I'm scared.
Sally looked around and found some computer chips that she came to Robotoplis for.
OPT: You can always got to Compu-Smart and save yourself the death risk.
("Robotoplis?" Davey cried as he found out where he was. "Sire, your aim on your void sucks!")
OPT: Oh, FUN-EE.
Davey found a jetpack to strap to his belt and a shotgun. An English-accented voice came from just outside. "Come on out, Princess. I know you're in there." It was Snivley, and someone else in a struggle.
SKIP: Snively's not British!
"I've got your boyfriend, Sonic, and now I've come for you." Suddenly, the door blew away, smashing into the Swat that was holding Sonic, removing the arm with the hedgehog. Five seconds later, Snively got a good look at a gun toting Davey Crockett.
ROB: And burst into hysterics.
"What about me, Dipstick?" Davey fired on the remaining Swats, downing them all in a barrage of robot body parts and motor oil in so many seconds. Before anyone knew it, the hallway was littered with mechanical limbs and sparking wires, and the walls got a fresh coat of crude.
OPT: [Stares]
ROB: Right now, I wish I could vomit...
SKIP: Aw man, I completely forgot you two are robots!
OPT: It's all right, Skipper. I sense atonement will be made soon.

Sally got out of the shock of the sudden storm of violence to go to Sonic. "I can't believe you got caught."
"Sally, Snively's got a robot version of myself! He's just as fast as I am!"
ALL: [Cheers]
     "Correct you are, hedgehog! Mecha Sonic, Get those three!"
     "As you wish boss," said a mechanic version of Sonic's voice from the darkness, large red and black eyes glowed ominously.
ROB & OPT: TORA! TORA!
"Let's get outta here!" Sally cried as she and Sonic sped away--at an equally high speed! Davey followed the best he can with his jetpacks. "Princess, how in the heck can you run this fast?"
ROB: With...the power of Greyskull!
OPT: Enough!

"It's a long story. I'd tell you, but right now isn't the time. And Davey, please, call me 'Sally'."
"All right, Sally. Let's get you back to Knothole so we can swap some files, Okay?"
ROB: Oh-ho-ho, looks like they've got a busy night, neh?
[MiST Note: In the STRK world, when two robots link an input cable with a receiver bank, they recieve a brief electric shock and
produce a file of a new, smaller robot. This process would be known as robotic intercourse.]
OPT: [Reading note] You're twisted, Robby.

The trio screeched to a stop just outside the building fifty Swats encircled around them. "I've got the back," Davey shouted. "Can you two handle them?"
"No sweat, Davey Crockett," Sonic replied. "C'mon, Sal, it's double ring time!"
Davey stood straight arrow in front of the dark corridor, aiming his shotgun directly at the red eyes rapidly approaching. "All right, pal, what's on your mind?"
OPT: This is starting to get lukewarm.
ROB: What do you mean "starting"?

Sonic and Sally held up the power ring, which makes them and the ground around them glow golden fire.
OPT: We've seen the cartoon, Gonterman.
"I d-d-don't t-t-think I-I-I c-c-can get used t-t-to t-t-this, Sonic-c-c..."
SKIP: [Sally] M-m-m-my w-w-w-w-w-w-words a-a-are d-d-d-drawn o-o-o-o-o-o-o-out...
"Don't worry Sal, it took me six months to get used to power rings. You've only been jucin' for two whole weeks...Get ready..." Sonic's voice was drowned by the glow going nova. It brightly illuminated Davey's current target before he got into point-blank range. "Mecha Sonic looks exactly like Sonic would look roboticized,"
SKIP: Wasn't that the point?
Davey thought, and then he pulled the trigger. Mecha Sonic was thrown back into the dark hallway almost as fast as he came in.
ROB: YOU SUCK!
That was the rifle's last round, so Davey threw it at the next Swat he saw;
ROB: Oh, I'd like to swat HIM.
this one was riding a hover cycle. He jacked the bike, grabbed another gun from the next nearest Swat and charged into the fray Sonic and Sally was in. Robots were still flying everywhere, although the flying oilshed was at a minimum, until he started shooting at the poor robots who got too close.
SKIP: Somewhere, Astro Boy is crying.
"Anyone around here needs a ride outta here?"
"I do!" Sally cried as she hopped on, her boots were smoking.
OPT: [Sally] It's a filthy habit, but I just can't get them to stop.
     "You all right?"
     "OwOwOw! Hot Feet! How can Sonic handle it?"
     "Must be the shoes, I guess?"
ROB: [Singing] Born with a beat...
Sally slaps herself. "Arrgh! I just remembered, I've got new boots at Minoc Grove! I should've waited."
SKIP: Minoc where?
     "Hard to wait when you're up to your eyeballs in Swats." David shoots down another.
ROB: [Vyvyan] You BAWS-TAHD!
"Or in Swat parts. Just remember to watch your aim on that thing, you could hit a friend of mine."
OPT: You've been hitting friends of MINE.
Davey slaps himself. "Oh crud, I forgot! Some of these robots is actually roboticized Mobians!"
"No, not here. This is a Swatbot factory. You'll know a Worker Bot when you see one; they'll look so cute you'll like to hug one."
ROB: [Falsetto] Oh, innit cute?!
SKIP: BLAM!

"I'll stick with fur, thank you. So, make a personal note: Don't go, 'Kill them all, let Robotnik sort them out!'"
"C'mon," Sonic stopped just enough to say, "Let's go!" Davey did a hoverbike's version of a peel-out
OPT: So it falls over and explodes?
and sped towards the main gate leading outside. It was closed tight and had several Swats standing guard.
"Sonic, the ring--PASS IT!" Sonic threw it like a frisbee without thinking beforehand, as usual. When Davey caught it, he accelerated full throttle on a collision course toward that gate.
     "Davey, you don't have to do this to impress me."
ALL: [Laughing]
"All I'm asking, Princess, is if you got any fingers left, I suggest you close them."
     "Oh, boy."  Sally grabbed on tight to Davey's pants.
ROB: SWEET MOTHER OF HEFNER!
SKIP: This story never fails to disturb me.

At this point, Sonic's brain caught up with the rest of him. "Hey! That ring won't work on you!"
OPT: Oh no you dinna!
SKIP: [Snaps fingers]

Davey leaned over the bars and held the power ring forward.  It sparked to life, shooting star-fire toward the gate like a roman candle.
OPT: TEEN TITANS GO!
     "Never mind."
The main gate exploded by the blasts, blowing shards of steel into the Swats guarding it.
SKIP: Not AGAIN!
They could only twitch and bleed oil as they got a good look at the newest and by far the deadliest Freedom Fighter rode past, only pausing enough to splatter one more into oblivion.
ROB: DAMMIT!
 
Zone Two--Act Two:

"Oh mah stars, is this guy the biggest hunk yawl ever seen?" Bunnie Rabbot cried as she snuggled up to Davey's right leg.
ALL: [Laughing]
OPT: Ah Gonterman, you shall always crack us up with your inflated ego!
She only went up to his thigh, but then she expanded her robot legs and got into his chest. "And looky here, this one's got some fur! Oh, Sally Girl, grab a limb, there's enough man here for all of Knothole!"
ALL: [Laughing harder]
     "He ess big, all right," Antoine DeCollette answered, then noticed the left arm. "Ess eet moi, or did Robotnik found ze Fountain of Youth?"
ALL: STILL NOT FUNNY!
"He's definitely not Ro-Butt-Nik, Twain. You should've seen how he trashes Swats!
ROB: [flatly] We know.
And I do mean Trash!!!! We are talking MA-17 mode here! Oil and wires and chips flying all around him! Robot corpses lying at his wake! See that tube in his mouth? He ripped it out of a Crabmeat with his own teeth!"
[Optima transforms into 15 and aims the Sun Laser at the screen]
SKIP: Not today, Optima. Not today.
OPT: Hrrrm...[Transforms back]
     "He did not, Sonic!"
     "Hey Sal, I'm on a roll here! Where did King Acorn found him? Psychos'R'Us?"
SKIP: That's my guess.
OPT: I'll go with it.

"Sonic...<sighs, turns to assembled Freedom Fighters>...I would like to introduce Davey Crockett. He's a messenger sent by my father. I think that message is in your robot arm."
"Okay." Davey said, held his arm up, and pressed a button. The holographic projector sprang up.
King Acorn appeared in mid-air:
SKIP: That'll hurt coming down.
"Hello Sally, it's good to get to speak to you again. A lot has happened since I was able to temporary return to you. I have made several discoveries to aid us in our battle against Robotnik. The ability to send Davey here is one. It is one step closer to me being able to return to Mobius for good.
ROB: [King Acorn] First, take Davey to the sacrificial altar...
I have copied all of my findings in a CD-ROM, which you will find in Davey's robot shoulder. <On cue, a CD-ROM  slid out of that spot, ripping through the shirt. Rotor took the disk.> It also contains several design files and computer programs from Davey's world. I assure you, they will be quite useful.
OPT: Indeed. A CD can pierce skin if going fast enough.
ROB: Hooray!

My daughter, there is not a day that passes by without me thinking of you. As much as I wish to return home, I had to settle to sending Davey in my place, and he I give to you.
SKIP: Not exactly the best present, huh?
Good bye, Sally. I love you always."
     The hologram ends, the lights turn back on, and Sally was found crying on Davey's shoulder.
ALL: [Groan]
After a moment, when she dried her eyes, she looked at him and thanked him for what he did.
OPT: [Sally] Thanks for leaving my father behind, you ingreivent loaf!
 
Zone Two--Act Three:
 
     "So Sal, what are you going to do with the psycho, er. I mean Davey," Sonic asked while munching on a chili dog.
ROB: I'm out of "Kill Davey" jokes.
OPT: Me too.
     "I dunno, Sonic. I thought about returning him to his home, but not only don't I know how, but I'm afraid that the crystallization that almost killed Daddy might strike him as well."
ALL: Hooray!
     "In other worlds, he's stuck here."
ALL: [Groan]
     "I'm afraid so. Rotor, what would you find about that left arm of his?"
     "Nothing but incredible, Sally! Davey's robot arm is in essence, a souped-up Nicole, but he has on-line satellite access and a data wire that gives him direct access into any computer on Mobius. If you believe in 'Knowledge is Power'..."
SKIP: David gets ALL the fancy things in his story, huh?
OPT: It's a sign of delusion.

     "Then Davey Crockett could be the most powerful Freedom Fighter on Mobius! Man, we've got to keep him! Besides, he followed us here."
ROB: Ca-REEPY!
     "Yeah, right, but I wonder how he'll fit in here. He does look like a young Robotnik."
"Sal, Sal, Sal. Ro-Butt-Nik would not play Terminator with the Swats.
SKIP: [Sonic] But he does regularly play volleyball with them.
Imagine what he'll do against Tubby himself when he gets back. His check is definitely good here. By the way, where is he?"
     "When I saw him leave the hut, I think he was heading for the ring lake. I'll go see if I can find a place for him to crash in." Rotor leaves.
SKIP: He should, if Davey's gonna smash through the room.
     "So, Sonic. Do you think Robotnik'll return?"
     "Haven't a clue, but I do doubt that he's gone for good."
OPT: Does ANYONE know who's been talking in the last minute?
-------------
Three full moons reflect their light into the lake. A flat stone skips the length, breaking the mirror-like reflection with its ever-increasing circles. A second was thrown, then a third.
OPT: Finally, something that is written well.
Several more flew away from the human arm of a Dimensionally Displaced, and very homesick, Davey Crockett. When he ran out of stones to throw, he looked up at the multitude of stars above him. "One of these specks may be my home planet," Davey said to himself, not realizing that he was being watched by someone in the woods.
SKIP: [Whistles X-Files theme]
"I wonder what's going on out there right now. Do they know that I'm gone? Do they care? And what of the fox that scraped me off that dark alley, replaced my lost arm with this cyborg one, and sent me here? I pray that he comes here soon. I pray for his safety in general. Planet Earth ain't the paridice God created. I'd rather call it a hell-hole."
SKIP: If he just said he was homesick, why is he talking about Earth like that?
OPT: He wants to get to Earth for his computer.
SKIP: Oh.

He flops on a nearby log and raises his voice a little. "Well, your majesty. I sent your letter to your daughter. What the hell am I supposed to do now?" He taps some keys on his left arm, and some new age music from an earthling artist named Enya played from it. 
OPT: Who's Enya?
ROB: This is awkward.

He hears someone coming near from the darkness of the forest. He looked towards the noise, and sees a small fox with two tails. "Hi there, kit," Davey told him, holding out his hand as he would to a puppy in his world.
ROB: [Singing] In his wooooooorld...
"You friendly? I won't bite." The fox approached, hesitantly at first, sniffing him out.
SKIP: NO! Run Tails, run!! David's gonna brainwash you!
That robot left arm and the red color of his eyes does give Davey "the Robotnik look," but his friendly smile and King Acorn's ring on the right ring finger dispels the fox's fears. "He must've been in the Roboticizer and sonic rescued him just a wee bit late," the fox reasoned to himself.
ROB: Great. Tails is Scottish now.
"Maybe I should make him feel at home. He does look lonely." By this time, the fox is close enough to be petted by the human's right hand, causing his twin brushes to wag. "I bet everybody calls you 'Tails,' don't they?"
"Yessir."
"Hey, call me Davey, please. Save the formalities for royalty like King Acorn, the Princess, or that french dude that's here." "You must mean Antoine. He can be funny sometimes." "I reckon you'd be too when eating hedgehog backwash." Tails giggles hard enough to fall back on his tails.
OPT: Oh. That SURE was a barrel of humour. Hyuck.
The duo was joined by a pink girl hedgehog. Tails introduces her as Amy Rose.
ROB: If this one starts fawning over Davey, I SWEAR I will blow up the screen...
"You must be Davey Crockett the guy King Acorn sent here to deliver a message to Princess Sally and looks like Ro-Butt-Nik's found the fountain of youth and return to give us all h-e-double-hockey-sticks."
OPT: WHERE ARE THE COMMAS?
"I sense a trend here." "Uh maybe I shouldn't tell you about the rumor that you're a psycho because you like to shoot holes into Swatbots and watch them bleed 10W40 all over?" Davey jokingly mocked menace: "Looks like a certain blue hedgehog's gonna lose some of his rings a punch at a time." "I'd pay good money to see you try it." "Yeah Davey, Sonic's not the leader of the Freedom Fighters for nothing."
ROB: Can someone tell me what the hell just happened?
"Yeah, I know--wait a minute. What's that in the water?" Tails ran toward a dock into the lake. A golden glow is forming in the water.
SKIP: This past tense is clashing like a bad suit.
ROB: You've learned some interesting things from Optima, haven't you.
"Alright! Another power ring is coming. Come over here and see this, Davey. It's gonna be cool!"
Davey stood at the edge of the dock and looked straight down into the glow. A bright white circle formed within the glow and
OPT: Shot 80 MPH into his face.
approached. The world turned to black on gold as the power ring broke the water. "Way past cool, ain't it?" Tails asked. Davey could only stand in awe as the power ring hovered in front of him.
ROB: See kids, noooo wires!
Slowly, he reached out to touch it. Again, the glow went nova. Tails had to cover his eyes to avoid being blinded. He cried out to Sonic, but he couldn't hear his own voice. When the glow finally subsided, he saw that everyone in Knothole has
ROB: Been set on fire.
heard him, but they were all staring at the dock that Davey was at. Tails turned around toward the human. He saw a red fox holding the power ring and wearing the human's cap, he recognized it as Davey's because of the racoon tail attached on the back. "Way past cool! The power ring's changed him into a fox!"
SKIP: This is more plot convenience, huh?
"Oh mah stars, he just keeps gettin cuter every time I see him."
ALL: [More laughing]
"This is great, now he can pass as one of us." "Maybe I can geet a power ring and be as tall as him, yes?"
OPT: No.
-----------------
"Fellow Freedom Fighters," Sally said in the evening campfire. "Today another Freedom Fighter has joined our ranks. A hero sent by my father to help us bring victory in our fight for freedom.
ROB: [Sally] Unfortunately, we are now totally screwed.
Hopefully, we will treat him a lot better than how he was treated in his home world. Everyone, I give you, Davey Crockett."
"Davey stood up and tipped his hat to a round of applause. "H-Hi. I would like to thank everyone, especially the Royal Family of Acorn, for having me. Er, Sally, you want this ring on my finger?"
OPT: [Singing] Here comes the bride...
     "Keep it."
     "It's from your father."
     "Keep it."
     "It could be all you'd see from King Acorn for a while."
ROB: [Sally] WHAT did I just tell you?!
     "Keep it. I want you to give it to him when he returns."
     "Okay, then. <Davey turns around> Hey, Hey, Hey,
SKIP: It's Fat Albert!
 what are you people, the Freedom Fighters or a picture I drew?
OPT: [Stares] Flying heck!
SKIP: He admits his pastime!
ROB: JACUSE!

Let's hear a 'To A Free Mobius' out there!!!!"
     Cue a round of hooping and hollering from everyone as they welcomed him in.
ROB: Then they held up the weapons.
Later into the night, Sally walked by the campfire to find Davey telling a story on five rainbow-colored karate fighters
OPT: Choice. A reference to Gonterman's first and most controversial work, The Piasa Bird.
to the kids with his holographic projector. She smiled one more time for the night and retired to her hut.
___________________
End of Volume One. At this point, all AOL users can consider Davey Crockett an 'official' character in the Sonic The Hedgehog universe
ROB: NOOOOOO!!
and has permission to use that character in an unaltered character. Any questions about Davey's chara design can be asked by E-Mailing me at DGONTERMA@AOL.COM.
SKIP: Dear Gonterman...
OPT:...Why do you retch?
To Be Continued
FoxFire Studios
ROB: It is not finished...we can never sleep at night.
SKIP: You don't sleep.
ROB: Well then, I can never recharge.
OPT: Oyez.
FIN

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