MiSTED BY JEN "FAUNA" C., FEATURING LUNAR, QUACKER AND DEAN OF MY CREATION "LUNAR RABBIT"
NOT DISTRIBUTE OR SEND TO GONTERMAN WITHOUT MY PERMISSION
Disclaimer: I am not attempting to make a personal stab at David Gonterman. I
am merely running through the "classics" for my bi-annual MiSTing. David, if you ARE reading this, sorry. But you did implant
yourself in the story. If you still feel strongly against this, please send me a copy of the comic you kill off Lunar
P.S.: You once said you had Asberger's Syndrome. Well, welcome to
LUN: Good morning, readers! Today's MiST is "A Time Of Honesty"...
QUA: A crap-tactular fiction by David Gonterman!
It will be Lunar Rabbit, C. Quacker and I, Dean Kithdo helping you limber through this piece of garbage.
LUN: And remember,
this MiST is PG-13 for our language, and of course the actual story content.
FoxFire Studios Presents:
A Sonic the Hedgehog--Sonia and da Fox Special
A Time of Honesty
by David Gonterman
I dedicate this short episode to the parents of Emily Smith, who cared enough for their daughter to be concerned about
her Cyberspace love life. A true sign of good parents.
LUN: Apparently, Gonto was involved in an online affair
with an eight-year-old girl.
QUA: AUGH! Then, what the hell are we in for?
Sonic the Hedgehog by Sega of America
Blood and Metal by David Gonterman
Sonia and da Fox by David Gonterman and
Davey Crockett by David Gonterman
Sonia Hedgehog by Emily Smith
DEAN: It's like an orgy of geeks!
[Staring at screen] Please...don't say "orgy" right now.
Davey Crockett and Sonia Hedgehog were lying on a hill watching the clouds, when Sonia, out
of the blue, asked Davey if she can ask a personal question.
"David, I don't know how to say it...do
you think we're too...forward?"
DEA: Blast it, Lunar! Why are we reading a pathetic furry intercourse tale?
Because, you said you were bored, and we're the only ones mature enough to read something like this.
DEAN: Mature, huh?
[Points to Quacker]
QUA: [Yelling at screen] TAKE IT OFF!
"Forward? What makes you say that, Sonia?"
mean...when we're close...and when we're kissing for hours...and I unbutton your shirt and rub my cheek into your chest."
Oh, the tepidity. Hours of lip-lock and the male loses his shirt.
QUA: If the genders were transposed, we'd have a winner!
Shut up; like either of you have done better.
"Oh. <a pause> I don't think so, not on my standards. Why
"Well...It's about last month. When you were crying in bed all week after you knew...who your dad was...
LUN: Why was his father Robotnik, anyway?
DEA: Plot device.
I was with you an awful
lot. People were thinking that we...were..."
LUN: [Sonia] Were...incredibly annoying!
"Suni, I was
in shock over the fact that Robotnik's my dad. Sure, I was in the mood;
DEA: Family tragedies turn him on?
QUA: Uncle Ed's got Ebola! WA-KA-CHA!
and monkeys fly outta my tail. Besides, we had our clothes on."
LUN: Lest we all be subject to furry porn.
We ARE furry.
"I know. It's probably...nothing."
DEA: It better be.
not. I consider sex to be a very difficult subject to discuss, to understand.
DEA: Two subjects that should never be interwined.
It needs to be confronted, but with extreme
care, lest someone gets hurt. I say this from experience, being in my mid-20s, and done my homework on such things."
[Sonia] You're HOW old, Davey?
"Yes. I take it that these people; I guess Uncle Chuck's one--he mentioned it to
LUN: Yep. Creepy old man who's willing to talk to someone else's kid about intercourse.
We're in a fan fiction now.
"He's one of those people that were concerned about me."
QUA: I don't know
whether to be sick or make a sex joke.
LUN: Let's just move on, shall we?
"I know. I'm glad that he did. Shows
he cares. I merely told him that it's just not my style to take advantage of a person sexually. I hope that I prove worthy
of his trust."
LUN: Is he talking about taking advantage of Chuck?
DEA: Knowing the nature of these texts, I
"I'm sure you will. It's just that...I'm a little..."
When I turn into Phenix now, especially with you, I see you through her eyes and feel like jumping out of my skin. It's just
that I...want to..."
LUN: Scream and run?
DEA: Turn in David for fornicating with underagers?
That's just your puberty talking.
QUA: [Baritone] Yo, kid! Go honk with that girl over there!
DEA: Stop that!
happens naturally when you grow up. If you want to get technical, call it a sex drive.
can't get rid of it, but you can--and must--control it, lest your hurt someone with it."
LUN: I can think of a
few things I'D want to hurt David with.
"I know. I...don't want to hurt you. I can sense, from your thoughts,
that you feel the same way...I do."
DEA: [Sonia] I...like period lines...a...lot.
"Yeah. I, too, am
a bit scared over this subject, and it's not because of our ten year age difference.
LUN: Oh GAWD!
QUA: He goes
right ahead and admits it!
DEA: I'll be calling Children's Services. Back in five.
In the planet where I came
from, Sex was used way too casually. I wanted it to be special, for the one I'll be married to. I'm afraid that I'll won't
be able to have my wish."
LUN: I wish he'd shut the hell up.
The two didn't talk much after that. They just returned to their cloud watching.
DEA: I could imagine...it
could be awkward talking to David Gonterman about intercourse.
LUN: Especially when pedophilia is involved...
their hearts, both felt a weight lift rom their shoulders. They were glad they have this talk.
Like Davey said, it needed to be discussed, and discussed with someone who cares.
Like Uncle Chuck, who hobbled with his cane as he passed the two. "How are you lovebirds doing?"
doing just fine, Uncle."
QUA: [David] Now the get the hell out so I can keep macking with this kid!
I met David at soccer practice!
"Couldn't help but hear what you two were talking about.
you said David, you need to take it with care. When I was a Worker-Bot, I've seen your father get into orgies
with a whole harem of robotic...er..."
"Pleasure Dolls, Chuck? Don't tell me my father's
QUA: No way! Robotnik wouldn't make a bunch of femmebots and just wonk them!
IS GONTERMAN. EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT RIGHT IS A SIMPLE PLOT DEVICE.
LUN: Gonterman, you're delusional!
when you desire the fairer sex for one thing and one thing only,
LUN & DEA: [Stare at Quacker]
might end up doing the things Robotnik did at nights.
I don't want to repeat the stuff
"Then don't, please. Some of us don't want to know."
ALL: Like US!
Chuck smiled. "I take
it you get a lot of that on your world."
DEA: Anyone else disturbed by the old man's interest in fornication?
get too much of that on my world. You'd have another heart attack if I told you the stuff earthlings do, and I don't want
*that* to happen, do I?"
LUN: Should we ask Mori later?
QUA: No. She'll end up looking at this story.
holds his hands in front. "I'll take your word for it, sonny. But honesty, I'm glad that you're not like that. You respect
her too much. I know that. Like you said, I'm just concerned like any good parent."
DEA: Of course. Every good
parent pries into their child's sex life.
"I hope I prove myself worthy of your trust, Uncle Chuck."
you," Chuck said as he left.
They didn't speak much afterward. They said what needed to say.
LUN: [Sonia] Davey,
when did you say my mom is picking me up?
QUA: [David] Shut up and hand me the fuzzy handcuffs.
As they watched
the sun set over the skyline of Robotroplis, knowing that one day it will set on a reborn Mobotroplis,
QUA: It's just like, it's just like, it's just like -- a mini-mall! Hey!
with a tall castle where King Sonic and Queen Sally dwells,
DEA: Hiding in fear of the pedophile human who
had taken over Mobius...
and Suni and Davey lives the rest of their days in peace, their arms moved into each
LUN: THAT'S gonna make going to the bathroom difficult...
They pulled themselves
close and kissed.
They weren't afraid anymore.
LUN: But we still were.
QUA: Welp, at least it's all over now...
The Greatest Sonic Story of 1995 continues with BLOOD AND METAL BETA.QUA: SHIT!
out what all the rave is about on the World Wide Web. http://users.aol.com/dgontermanDEA: A "rave" is also a party where people gather to listen to loud music and get stoned.
LUN: Kinda the same
affect as these stories, innit?
Also Check out these other Stories:ALL: Let's NOT!
or Metal--Note: This did not come from me! This came from an AOL BAM fan who gave Nicole a body and what a body. She
goes off on an adventure all her own.LUN: DAVID, CURSE YOU AND YOUR ALARMING OBSESSION OF FURRIES!
in the Wind--Edward Becerra's tale of a Native American legend set in the world of Mobius. Introduces Kickaha.QUA:
DEA: No, that's Gonterman.
Note: Haunted Fantasies will be put on the shelf for a while.ALL:
A character needed to be replaced. It could be one in a story I'm getting from my E-Mail, soon to be
put on my Web Page...Stay Tuned...LUN: He will be back...we can never sleep peacefully...
StudiosDEA: I'm out of "this is doom" jokes.
QUA: Me too.
LUN: Men, how do we wrap this up?
QUA: I dunno,
how 'bout a sudden ending?
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