This was originally to be the preface to a full story, but back in February '06 I just stopped writing it. I consider
this to be the last DW Duck fiction I ever wrote. The last fiction EVAR was an origin story for Rouge the
Bat, and then I quit. I started cartooning full-time after that, as using my own characters was more original. Duly sorry
if people in the below are out of character at times. I screwed up fully on Nega-Mrs. Cavanaugh, the orphanage worker, remember?
BTW, Amelia is copyright ME and is in some of my comics, so nobody steal her. I'm done. Read on.
It was 1990 in
the Negaverse St. Canard Orphanage at noon. Mrs. Cavanaugh shuffled her papers quietly and looked at the room; papers and
pencils everywhere, a flowerpot was overturned and somebody had drawn on the walls with magic marker. Oh, it was a mess, but
A short, young woman with
yellow hair came through the door. “Good morning,” She said. “I was thinking of adopting a child today.”
come to the right place! In fact, the only place in town.” Mrs. Cavanaugh laughed at her own bad joke and opened the
door leading to the playground. “The kids are on recess. Follow me.”
The yard was strewn with
litter, deflated sports equipment lined the fence. Most of the kids were climbing on the tree or beating each other up. A
little girl with red hair in corkscrew curls and pink frilly dress raced up to meet them
“Mrs. Cavanaugh, when
will classes begin again?” she asked politely.
“In about 35 minutes,
Gosalyn. Go play with the other kids for now.” Mrs. Cavanaugh responded harshly.
nothing to play with…” The little girl whined. But she sadly ran away to the other kids.
The young woman asked, “Who
“That was Gosalyn Waddlemeyer,
her grandfather was a famous scientist.” Mrs. Cavanaugh headed to another part of the playground. “But let’s
see the other kids, why not?”
The woman stayed where she
was standing. “Um, no thanks.”
Mrs. Cavanaugh looked at
her like she was insane. “You can’t possibly be thinking about adopting Gosalyn, can you?? She’s the most
annoying child in the orphanage!”
“She wasn’t annoying.
Just polite to extremes, that’s all.” The woman sneered back. Then she said calmly, “But could I? She seems
like a very nice little girl, and I can’t have children.”
Cavanaugh threw her hands up in the air. “Gosalyn! Come here!!”
The child skipped over to
them. “Yes, Mrs. Cavanaugh?”
“This woman was think
about being your new mother-” before she finished, the little girl ran up to the woman and hugged her.
“I’ll have family…”
Gosalyn said to herself. “What’s your name, madam?”
“Where do you work?”
a local dancer.”
“Er, yes.” Amelia
was hesitant to say what kind of dancer she really was.
Mrs. Cavanaugh clapped her
hands. “Well, come! We should fill out the paper work now.”
Amelia finished filling out
her information form and handed it back to Mrs. Cavanaugh. It read:
Name: Amelia H. Quackerton
Date: April 15th, 1960
stared at the paper in horror.
“Um, Gosalyn, leave
the room for a minute.” She said quickly.
“How come, Mrs. Cavanaugh?”
a spider under your chair.”
The little girl ran shrieking
from the office.
Amelia looked confused. “Why
did you do that?”
Mrs. Cavanaugh yelled, “LOOK!!
Under ‘profession’, you’ve got ‘STRIPPER’!! Tell me this is a joke, Miss Quackerton!!”
Amelia looked at the floor.
“It’s not, okay? This city’s low on jobs, so I had to be a stripper. I’m sorry, all right? I can’t
get any better job now, but it pays a lot-”
“It’s not the
money!! It’s the fact that- what will you do on Take Your Child To Work Day?”
The thought of a 7 year-old
girl in a bar terrified Amelia. “All right. I’ll quit today and get a better job. I’ll come back immediately
after my shift.”
Cavanaugh opened the window. “GOSALYN! YOU CAN COME IN NOW! Um, SPIDER’S GONE!”
Moments later, Gosalyn skipped
back into the office. “Can me and new mommy go home now?”
“Um, Gosalyn, I’m
sorry, but…I can’t adopt you today. There’s…a problem with the paperwork. I’ll be back tomorrow!
I promise.” Amelia was about to cry. What if they didn’t let her quit? What if she couldn’t find another
job? She would have to see later.
Gosalyn hugged Amelia. “I’ll
miss you, new mommy.”
Gos. I’ll be back tomorrow. I promise.”
At Kitty’s Nightclub,
Amelia had just asked the manager if she could quit.
“You sure, Amy? You’re
the top stripper here, and you’ve been working for 5 years.”
“I’m sure. I
plan to adopt a little girl at the city orphanage, but they won’t let me…since I’m an ‘exotic dancer’.”
“Oh. Well, good luck
with the new family and job, Amelia.” The manager stuck her head out the window. “Reminds me, your act is coming
up next. You should tell them this is your last dance.”
Amelia nodded and went backstage
and prepared for her dance. The others- Gandra, Daisy and Nina- were talking backstage.
“Oh, hi, Amy. Your
costume’s in your locker.” Daisy said, pointing to the row of lockers.
Amelia unlocked her locker
and pulled out a small costume, made of silk and veils. “Is it an Arabian theme tonight?”
just changing ideas…or whatever. Mine looked like a small swimsuit.”
“Girls, I have to say
something.” Amelia put her costume down. “This is my last day here. I was trying to adopt a child from that orphanage-
you know why I can’t have kids- but they want me to get a new job.”
“Yeah, in case of Bring
Your Child To Work Day,” joked Nina. “They say, ‘Mommy, why are those men throwing money?’”
Gandra looked out through
the curtain. “You’re on next, Amelia.”
said quickly. She wriggled into her costume. Then she twirled onstage.
All the usual customers (or
viewers) were there. Amelia could see everything from onstage, despite what she was doing. So, there was the bikers, a gruff-looking
duck in a red hat and yellow coat, and two people were starting a fight at the bar.
“I WANT MY ****ING
DRINK!!” Yelled a female goose in a biker outfit.
“I’m sorry, but
your tab’s full! No more service ‘til ya pays up all 100 bucks.” The bartender sneered.
A fat duck accompanying the
goose pulled a knife. “A pint for both of us. NOW!”
The manager came out. “Is
there a problem here?”
“DAMN STRAIGHT THERE
“All right. If you
don’t stop yelling and fighting, you two will get banned. Got that?” The manager turned to the bartender. “Fenton,
did you tell them their tab’s full?”
“I did! What, am I
an idiot?” Fenton snapped back.
“Yeah, you are! Now
shut up!” Yelled the duck in the red hat.
“You ALL are gonna
be sorry later!” The goose screeched.
The goose and fat duck sat
down. Amelia regained most of her clothing, and stopped.
She leaned against the pole.
“Everybody, I have some sad news. It’s been great working here for the last five years…”
“Talk about working
it!” A man yelled out. He hi-fived someone sitting near him.
afraid this is my last day.” Amelia said. The audience gasped. “I’ll be out for one more stripping, and
that’s final. Stay after 10:00.” She left the stage.
“Perfect going on breaking
it to them!” said Gandra. “It’s going to be boring without you here later on.”
replied Amelia. She stepped behind the changing screen. “I have to get into normal clothes. I’m going to look
for a job. Sooner the better.”
After she changed back into
a dress and jacket, Amelia headed to the door. “I’ll see you guys later.” She said, waving to Nina and Daisy.
“Bye!” Nina smiled.
Then her face turned to utter horror. “AMELIA!! LOOK OUT!!”
Amelia turned in time to
see the goose woman with a handgun. “I told them they’d be sorry!” The woman yelled, and fired. Amelia jumped
in front of her friends, getting most of the bullets. She doubled over.
an ambulance…get her...” She moaned.
Everything went blurry. She
could faintly see Gandra with a phone…the bartender, the fat duck and the duck with the red hat attacking the goose…the
manager wrapped Amelia in a blanket and carried her out to what appeared to be an ambulance.
“I have to get to the
orphanage…” Amelia said weakly.
The manager said sadly. “The ambulance is here…it will be all right.”
The next morning, Gosalyn at on a chair, looking out the window. She didn’t see New Mommy anywhere.
“Mrs. Cavanaugh, where’s
New Mommy? She said she would be here!” Gosalyn asked.
“I don’t know.
She might have skipped town.” Mrs. Cavanaugh opened a newspaper and read the headline. She almost had a heart attack:
Local Famous Dancer Shot And Killed
At 8 pm last
night, local stripper Amelia ‘Amy’ Quackerton was shot dead while leaving Kitti’s Nightclub. A woman came
backstage and shot at Quackerton and her friends, She bravely took 4 bullets to the stomach and chest. The shooter is nicknamed
‘Binkie’, whom fled the nightclub after shooting Quackerton. Two bar patrons and the bartender tried to restrain
the shooter, but she got away. A reward is offered by Quackerton’s friends for ‘Binkie’s capture.
Mrs. Cavanaugh picked up
the paper and walked over to Gosalyn. “Gosalyn, I’m sorry, but…new mommy isn’t ever going to come.”
Gosalyn started crying. She
took the newspaper, looked at the article and hugged the paper. “Can I keep the paper?”
“Yes,” Mrs. Cavanaugh
said sadly. “You can keep it as long as you want.”