Home
Character Bios
Updates
Merchandise
Fan Works
Links

Darkwing ran around his hideout.

“Oh no, where the heck is it! They come in five minutes!” he mumbled to himself.

“Who, what and where?” asked Gosalyn, who was sitting nearby reading a comic book.

“My gas gun! Can’t find it. And the Fearsome Five, planning to blow up the bridge. I have to meet the rest of the Justice Ducks VERY soon.”

“Cool! You and the other Justice Ducks haven’t met for three weeks!”

“I know; nothing team-worthy had happened then.”

“Oh, and your gas gun?” Gosalyn reached behind her, and tossed the gun out to Darkwing. “Catch, dad.”

Darkwing caught it. “Act your age, Gos. You’re thirteen now.”

“Swell idea! I’ll act my age, and I’ll wear pink clothing and say ‘whatever’, just like some of those other girls my age.” Gosalyn went back to reading her comics.

“Touché, Gosalyn.” Darkwing went to the phone and started dialing. “I’m calling a babysitter.”

Gosalyn sat up. “DAD!! I’m old enough to know not to blow up the house!”

“You have a problem with Fiona as a babysitter?”

Gosalyn stopped arguing. Fiona Macawber was her favorite babysitter, and a good friend to boot. “Okay, dad.”

Meanwhile, on the phone, Fiona picked up. “Hello?”

“Hello, Fiona. This is Darkwing, and we wanted to know if you could b-”

The phone hung up suddenly. “Talk about rude! She hung up!” Darkwing exclaimed.

“No I didn’t, DW.” A voice said. Darkwing turned, and there was Fiona. “You hire me to baby-sit Gosalyn about 15 times a month. I know when you’re calling for a sitter.” She laughed pleasantly.

“Yay, Fi! You’re here!” Gosalyn scampered over.

“Came in 7 seconds through the wonders of teleportation.” Fiona smiled. “Oh, and DW, Morgana says she’ll be at the bridge in about 10 minutes.”

“Uh-oh, I’d better run.” Darkwing made a beeline for the door. He stopped. “Oh, and, you two can watch, but ONLY FROM A SAFE DISTANCE AWAY. Launchpad will be here, too. G’bye.” And he dashed out the door.

“Not much on ‘goodbyes’ is he.” Fiona joked.

“That’s because he sometimes talks so fast.” Gosalyn tugged on Fiona’s sleeve. “Now, come on! Let’s watch the fight outside!”

 

Standing in the city park, a good distance away from the bridge, Fiona and Gosalyn could see everything. So far, Darkwing, Morgana and Stegmutt were there and Fiona was sure she had seen a few shadows lurking around under the bridge.

Fiona wanted to check it out. “Hey, Gos, I’m going to see what’s going on under the bridge. Stay put, and don’t blow up anything, talk to strangers or go with them!” 

“Okay, don’t worry, I won’t!” Gosalyn said, while on the swing.

Fiona waved, and set off to the bridge. It wasn’t that far away.

 

Meanwhile, Gizmoduck was on his way to meet the rest of the Justice Ducks to foil a plan they’d overheard about the Fearsome Five planning to blow up the bridge. Okay, he said to himself. Meet at the cluster of trees in the parking lot next to the bridge. And from there, they’d all attack. He looked around; saw the playground, the bridge, a pizza parlor- his eyes caught on a young woman, with long black hair and a purple dress.

He wheeled over to her.

 

Fiona was halfway to the bridge when a robot duck- it startled her at first- drove up next to her. She just looked ahead.

“Why, hello, little lady! What are you doing outside at this time of the night?” the duck asked.

Fiona looked on ahead.

“What’s wrong? Are you deaf?”

“Buzz off, creep.”

“Oh, come on!” The robot stopped in front of there and leaned on the wall of a drycleaners. “Where are you going, darling?”

“SHOO!! Do I have to hit you??” Fiona held her fist back, threateningly.

“Take your best shot, pretty.” The robot said coyly.

“OK, I WILL—” Fiona swung her fist.

“NO!!!” Voices screamed behind her. Fiona stopped. Her fist was inches away from the robot duck’s helmet.

He went away.

Fiona turned around. Gosalyn and Launchpad stood behind her, looking worried.

“Careful! He has a metal helmet, you could have broken your fingers!” Gosalyn said.

“Yeah!” Launchpad added.

Fiona looked at him. “LP? When did you get here?”

“I flew.”

Fiona looked around, and saw a helicopter smashed into a tree. “Oh.”

Gosalyn ran to the playground. “C’mon! I think the F5 and JD are going to fight soon.”

 

From the safety of the swing set, the three watched the bridge. It became evident that there truly were people under the bridge- The Fearsome Five. Had Fiona gone under the bridge, she may have been attacked.

“So, who was that tin can man anyway?” asked Fiona.

Launchpad looked up. “Who?”

“The robot. That guy I almost punched.”

“Oh, him! He’s Gizmoduck, and he’s also in the Justice Ducks.”

“Yecch! How can they stand having that creep with them??”

Launchpad shrugged. “I don’t know, but Giz, well, he’s had a history of ‘womanizing’.”

“Ah. So he’s a philander.”

“A what?”

“Philander: One- to carry on an affair, especially an extramarital affair, with a woman one cannot or does not intend to marry. Used of a man. Two-To engage in many love affairs, especially with a frivolous or casual attitude. Used of a man.” Fiona recited. “I used to be forced to read the dictionary whenever I misbehaved.”

“Gee, my punishments were never as boring. I either have to go to my room or write an apology!” Gosalyn said, jumping from the swing. She was heading for the ground fast, so Fiona cast a protective orb around her and Gosalyn landed safely on the ground.

“Thanks!” Gosalyn gasped.

“Don’t mention it. I plan to get you back home with all limbs intact.”

“And hey, Fi, I don’t know if it’s correct, but…” Gosalyn began to speak quietly. “We think Giz has a crush on Morgana!”

Fiona was horrified. She took a look at the bridge- first at her sister, then at Gizmoduck, then at Darkwing. Currently the JD and the F5 were engaged an all-out battle.

“Why that…I’LL WRANGLE HIM!” Fiona screeched. She ran to the bridge, but Gosalyn and Launchpad caught her before she got far.

“Could you save killing Gizmo until the police arrest the F5? Things are getting bad up there.” Said Gosalyn.

They looked up. Negaduck had pulled a chainsaw, and Bushroot had run away.

“Fine, I’ll wait.” Fiona sat down sadly on the merry-go-round.

 

Things were going well…for the good side. Megavolt and The Liquidator had run into each other and got shocked/electrocuted, Quackerjack was out of toys and nobody had seen Bushroot after he ran away crying.

Negaduck, however, was still up and had the bomb.

“We’re winning!” Stegmutt cheered.

“Yep, you’re winning…AND HERE’S YOUR PRIZE!!!” Negaduck threw the activated bomb at them.

Morgana magically froze the bomb. The bomb fell to the ground, inactive.

“Well then, I’ll be on my way!” Negaduck made a break for it, and then Stegmutt landed on him.

“Did I get him?? Did I get him??” Stegmutt sang, looking around.

Just then three police cruisers drove up and put the Fearsome Five in- they had found Bushroot nearby. Also, Megavolt and The Liquidator were beginning to regain consciousness.

In the meantime, Fiona was still angry and climbing up the bridge. She almost pulled herself up, when her hand slipped. She hung on to the side of the bridge.

“Help! Anyone?” She called out, hoping that it would bring anybody BUT the robot.

Unfortunately, Gizmoduck was the first person to see her hanging onto the bridge. He came over. Fiona kept saying in her head, ‘Crap, crap, crap, CRAP, CRAP!!!’

“Why, it’s you again. May I help you up?” He held out his hand.

“Sir, I am perfectly capable of saving myself.” She left go of the bridge, and fell two feet. Then she teleported herself safely onto the bridge. “I just needed both hands free.”

Everybody else saw Fiona. “Hi, Fi! How’s it going?” Morgana called out.

Gizmoduck did a double take. “You know this gal?”

“Of course I do! She’s my little sister.”

“Well! Um-hey- gee, this is awkward.” Gizmoduck looked uncomfortable.

Nobody knew what he was talking about.

“What do you mean?” Neptunia asked.

“What I think he means,” declared Fiona. “Is that he made a pass at me!”

Everybody stared at Gizmoduck. “Giz,” Darkwing asked, sound very offended. “Is this true?”

“Um- now see- well, yes, in a way-”

“WHAT?”

Launchpad and Gosalyn ran down the bridge to Fiona. “We believe, that Fiona has something to say to you, Gizmoduck.” They said.

At first Fiona didn’t want to say anything at all. Then she looked around at everyone, the Justice Ducks, her friends, her sister, even a few officers. Then something came up and filled her; it rose from her feet to her head, and she was ready to speak.

She had been filled with courage.

“Now, I’d just like to say…YOU SARDINE CAN! YOU TREAT WOMEN LIKE OBJECTS! JUST SO YOU KNOW, I HAVE HEARD THAT YOU’VE DONE THE SAM THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME TO OTHER FEMALES! YOU’VE GOT TO TREAT US LIKE EQUALS! EQUALS!”

Everyone stared in shock. Fiona had always been quiet, and hid away from everyone else. Now she was standing in the middle of a bridge screaming.

“AND ANOTHER THING! JUST BECAUSE A WOMAN IS IN DANGER AND MAY ACTUALLY BE DOING OKAY, DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO JUMP IN AND BE THE GRAND HERO! AND-”

Darkwing jumped in. “Okay, okay, Fi! That’s enough.”

Fiona was hyperventilating through gritted teeth. “Sorry…I…got…rather…mad…”

“Perfectly fine. I hate him too.”

Gizmoduck wasn’t done. “Madam, I may have faults, but at least I have all these gadgets-”

“Oh? So then I guess ‘Chick Detector’ is one of them.”

Everybody went OOOOOOHHH.

The Fearsome Five were cheering from the police car.

“You tell ‘im, sistah!”

“FREEDOM!”

“Woo-woo-woo!”

The officer driving the car told them to shut up back there.

Anyway, everyone was telling Gizmoduck off.

“It creeps me out when you stare at me.” Morgana.

“You thought I couldn’t be a good fighter just because I’m a fish girl.” Neptunia.

“And what about all those times you’ve patted me on the head? What, am I a dog?” Gosalyn.

“And need I remind you of all those times you’ve flown off to go save Gandra Dee?” Darkwing.

Gizmoduck looked around at all the angry faces. “O-okay, everyone, sorry. I’ll try to change.”

“Oh, you’d better.” Somebody snorted.

“All right, business is done. Let’s all go home.” Darkwing began to walk off.

“Nope. Us females have one more thing to do.” Fiona smiled again. Then she, Gosalyn, Neptunia and Morgana grabbed Gizmoduck by the arms and wheel.

“One, two, you know what to do!” Gosalyn laughed.

And on three they chucked him over the bridge.

“I’m okay!” He called out.

Laughing, Fiona and Gosalyn turned to Darkwing and said, “Okay. We’re done.”

End.

Darkwing Duck is property of Buena Vista Entertainment/Disney, ©1991-2010. Site design and written material by "Fauna" Crawford, ©2005-2010. No Disney characters or images are being claimed by the webmaster, just being loved.